Judge, 1915-08-14 · page 15 of 28
Judge — August 14, 1915 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine combines rural humor, summer heat complaints, and early cinema satire. **"Lazytown Local News"** mocks small-town life through absurd anecdotes: a train running faster because the engineer rested, a constable attending illegal stills despite "local option" (Prohibition sentiment), and Poke Eazley losing his lantern. The humor targets rural simplicity and hypocrisy. **"The Unbearable Question"** satirizes the annoying summer bromide—"Is this hot enough for you?"—a cliché greeting during heat waves. The poem escalates from exasperation to mock-curses, capturing shared social frustration with predictable small talk. **"Short Scenarios"** parodies silent film titles through alliterative wordplay (e.g., "Mated/Aggravated/Renovated/Celebrated"). These mock both cinema's melodramatic conventions and the era's obsession with moving pictures as entertainment. The illustration shows a romantic pastoral scene, likely contrasting the idealized nature imagery in the title with the mundane, irritating realities described below.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE WONDERS OF NATURE Lazytown Local News TRAIN left Tickville Monday morn- ing at a higher rate of speed than usual, on account of the engineer having had a good rest over Sunday. \ : ) cleaned, in order to try it out; but somewhere in the rounds he set it down and has not since been able to locate it. Poke Eazley has lost his lantern. He took it out in the dark the other night, well lighted up and the globe With the coming of the frogs, jaybirds, loud socks and neckties, coupled with the singing of Miss Hostetter Hocks and the mosquitoes, no one can find life dull in this vicinity during the summer. 0 The depity constable spent a portion of Thursday at the Hog Ford stillhouse. While he is strictly local option, he has to mingle with the voters at the stillhouse and drink every time they want him to, in order to maintain his high standing in that vicinity. ~—Grorge Bingham. The Unbearable Question ‘AN OF bromides, when we meet On the red-hot, sun-baked street, And the mercury has clumb In a style most frolicsome, Do not say, whate’er you do, Is this hot enough for you? By my collar’s wilted wreck, As it wrinkles round my neck— By the rivulets which race Down my pale and sticky face, I advise you to eschew Is this hot enough for you? By that soft, bromidic smirk Which upon your face doth lurk— By that vacuum in your head (Vacuum, sir, is what I said), These are words which you will rue: Is this hot enough for you? Take my money, if you will; Swear at me in accents shrill; Make yourself a dreary pest With the stale and mossy jest; But, I beg of you, taboo Is this hot enough for you? Man of bromides, I shall curse You and yours, and what is worse, Brand you as the sort of goat Who, for fun, would rock the boat, If you look at me and coo Is this hot enough for you?—K. roberts. Short Scenarios I ELEVATING the Stage. Four films. . Film 1—Mated. Fiim 2—Aggravated. Film 3—Renovated. Film 4—Celebrated. Il. Frenzied Finance, or The Missing Mil- lions. Three Films. Film 1—Trusted. Film 2—Busted. Film 3—Dusted. III. The People’s Choice. Four films. Film 1—Projected. Film 2—Elected. Film 3—Detected. Film 4—Ejected. IV. Hitting It Up, or His Last Joy Ride. Four films. Film 1—Speeding. Film 2—Pleading. Film 3—Unheeding. Film 4—Bleeding. V. Back to the Bush League, or The Pitch- er’s Downfall. Four films. Film 1—Curved balls. Film 2—Highballs. Film 3—Four balls. Film 4—Moth balls. —Albert E. Hoyt.