Judge, 1915-08-07 · page 12 of 28
Judge — August 7, 1915 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes psychology as a fashionable but intellectually empty pursuit among educated Americans. The main article by Frank Perry Olds mocks psychologists for masking profound ignorance behind pseudoscientific jargon. Olds argues that psychology has become "the polite university subject" and that successful psychologists are those willing to accept payment for their ignorance while maintaining an air of brilliance. The satire targets academia's pretentiousness: psychologists are portrayed as people who speak in circular logic ("proof of evidence is evidence of proof"), make unfalsifiable claims about psycho-physical parallelism, and dismiss colleagues' interpretations while claiming their own way is "the only right way." The illustration "A Coastwise Raider—Merchantmen, Beware!" depicts a swimmer crawling up a beach, apparently a clever visual pun on psychology being a form of intellectual "raiding" or theft of credibility. The humor column snippets mock romantic misunderstandings and social pretension—typical Judge fare of the era.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
i much better it is for this fair maid of Yan- keeland to make a hundred swains tempora- rily happy than one permanently miserable. So here's a toast ™ to the summer girl: V— As fit and fair as any muse that AN sings! . rN \ A radiant god- dess she of 4 — #7) sheer delight! ~// > A heart of gold that e’er respon- sive rings To any thirst- ing soul that heaves in sight Long may she wave, a queen all-glori- ous, Who in glad summer keeps our hearts aglow, Who makes vacation days splendiferous, And fa the autumn drear just lets us go Psychology Psychologists enjoy a rather satisfactory amount of ignorance in all these varieties. Of course the amount varies somewhat in the different branches, but it is quite ap- preciable to the non-initiated in every one of them. The psychologist seems to enjoy supreme ignorance in the particular line of his pet endeavor. The best of our psychol- ogists are noted the world over for their ignorance. We have attended psychological lectures under several men—from Hugo down to him of the educated worm. We under- stand the subject well. It suits our tem- perament. We are prepared to state a few of the authoritative dicta learned under these princes of psychological thoughtlessness. Savoir: The proof of the evidence is in all cases evidence of the proof. (Simple!) Psycho-physical parallelism may or may not be, and doubtless is or is not, exempli- fied in the case in point. (Comprehensive!) It may well be and, doubtless, if at all, is. (Deep!) This fact admits of no doubt, and forty. nately may be interpreted in only four ways. The three interpretations chosen by Professors Bolt, Turkeys and Hugo are ob. viously wrong. My way is the only Tight way. (Logical argument. Admitted prem. ises: 4 ways possible—3 ways Previously retained=1 way available; and the one way available is right.) We are proud of our brilliance in this subject. In fact, we have every reason to consider ourselves unusually fitted for the psychological field. Usually it takes at least ten courses to learn what we have learned. We did it in four. To be a successful psychologist, one must be mad. To be a brilliant psychologist, one must enjoy complete mental vacuity, To be a practical psychologist, one must be willing to accept pay for one's ignor. ance. Asa psychologist, we are a howling success, —Frank Perry Olds, Best Laid Plans SYCHOLOGY is the polite university subject to-day. Its study is decidedly com- me il faut. Every one isdoingit. At our universities, in our women’s clubs, at faculty meetings and elsewhere, we hear of psychology. It is the open sesa- me to superficial culture. There are several kinds of psychol- ogy. It would be impossible _ satis- factorily to express our ignorance in one variety. The more varieties, the merrier our ignor- ance. For exam- ple, there is human psychology and animal psychology, race psychology and social psychol- ogy, normal psy- chology and abnor- mal psychology, laboratory psychol- ogy and armchair psychology, theo- retical psychology and applied psy- chology, and Lord knows how many other kinds, Madge—It he's such a fine swim. mer, why don't you pretend to be drowning? Marjorie—I tried that once, and the wrong young man rescued me. His Complaint “It's dis-uh-way at muh house, sah,'’ grumbled Brother Berrybut- ton. ‘*Every time we has chicken for dinner, we has de preacher, too!" The Limit Willis—What is the most unintel- ligible thing that you ever heard? Gillis—A maga zine poem, set to musical-comedy music, played ona phonograph. Qualified Manager —Can you sing up to high C? Soubrette — No; but I can kick above the staff. A COASTWISE RAIDER—MERCHANTMEN, BEWARE! Manager—Name your terms, coMmmMebooks-com