Judge — July 24, 1915 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

” My fiance rows on his college crew."* 5) “Say, old man, I noticed your wife crying all the way up in the subway last night, Has she lost some member of her family ?'’ “Bless you, no. We'd just been to the theater and she was still enjoying the last act."” 'Y WRENHAM, who rated himself a good fellow, even if he did prefer to have the wars and the jokes on other people, saw Andy Bowles ing on the porch of the village store, and his eyes twinkled. Andy was all right and honest as the days were long—that's why he had just been elected tax ssor. Still, with his honesty went a sort of direct simplicity, which of- fered standing temptation to the frivolous- minded. Cy marched up to the store porch; he winked meaningly at three or four loungers grouped a little way from Bowles. “Howdy, Andy?’’ said he. **How you gettin’ on with the new office?"’ ‘* But he's a snob."* CY WRENHAM’S , LIVE STOCK By W. 7. NICHOLS “*Pretty fair, id Andy modestly. Cy wagged his head, ‘‘Well, you got a hard job—'bout the only one I know where folks ain't tickled to have you take 'em at their own valuation. Course, it’s goin’ to be’ extry hard on you this year, with the new law and all that.’” “What new law?" said Andy, pricking up his ears. Wrenham, as he knew, had just returned from a visit to the State cap- ital, and hence might be supposed to be acquainted with the latest vagaries of the legislators. “Why, the law for taxin’ wild animals," quoth Cy cheerfully. ‘*See here!’? He took an official-looking document from his pocket. ‘'‘An act forethe assessment and taxation of wild animals,’’’ he read. ‘' ‘Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Rep- resentatives’—that's the way it starts, like all the rest of 'em. And it goes on to say that if anybody's maintainin’ and fosterin’ such critters on his premises, he’s got to settle, same’s if they was hosses or Hol- steins. Look for yourself!’* And he held the printed slip under Andy’s nose. Andy peered at it, but his vision was poor, as Cy was quite aware. “T hain't got my glasses,’’ he faltered. “‘It—it’s genuine enough, I reckon. But it’s a blamed funny law!"" ‘No, he isn't. He knows every man in the boat except two fellows down at the other end."’ A score of newspaper paragraphers had taken the same view and joyously added the bill in question to the list of freak leg- islation for the year; but it chanced that Andy read none of the papers these humor- ists enlivened. So the bill for taxing wild animals—as a matter of fact, it didn’t pass from bill to enactment, but perished in committee—was all new to him and all news. And as tax assessor he found it im- portant news, Before you could levy on live stock, you had to assess it; and to as- sess it, you had to see it or count it up or —or do something. Cy stuffed the printed bill back in his pocket; again he winked at his gallery. “By gum, but you'll have your hands full, Andy!" he chuckled. ‘*Folks'll say they can’t make out inventories, and you'll have to get busy. Why, you'll have to take Do they put stripes on animal prisoners, too?'’ comicbooks.com