Judge — July 24, 1915 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

= — BACK TO NATURE From a Jester’s Notebook Entomological Repartee snow. what am I good for?’’ demanded the fly, With a lingering smile in his bright blue eye, As I grabbed up my swatter true standing nigh. “*T give you a chance for a bully old game — It's bluebottle tennis they call the same— To play within doors when the sun is hot, That’s swat!’" And I aimed a big biff at his grinning old face And smashed all the bric-a-brac there in the place, While he, with that lingering smile in his eye, Took his kids for a walk on our blueberry pie. fe] A facetious English contemporary says that Burns was a Ploughboy and Byron was a Harrow boy. Sad, but true. Why not add that Edwin Markham was The Man with the Hoe, and Alfred Noyes is some punkins as a Harvester? It has just occurred to us that all this un- rest among women is possibly due to the fact that she has had to labor so incessantly at household chores for so many generations that she really doesn’t know how to rest. is} We notice a peculiarly subtle point in Colonel Roosevelt's latest slogan. It is “Down with the bosses!"’ not, you will ob- serve, ‘‘Down with the boss!"’ A French scientist has discov- ered a way to make cigarettes innocuous, but we have ourselves long known how. The best way is just to smoke ’em. A ciga- rette once smoked is powerless to harm another human soul. ie] When women vote and we come to a yea and nay proposi- tion, we are willing to bet seven- teen pecks of apples to one pickled prune that then, even as now, effectively used, the eyes will win. QO An editor of a muck-raking magazine should never attempt to operate his own motor. His habit of running down everything in sight might prove embarrassing to him. a Admiral Peary has been delegated to chart the air for the Aero Club. We wish him luck and trust he will not find that old Doctor Cook went up in the air first. Perhaps if authors were paid by the pound instead of by the word for their productions, they would see to it that their words carried a little more weight. —Horace Dodd Gastit. Foiled They were tangoing on a sub- way newsstand during the rush hour. She whispered to him, **Harold, my dear, you know I'm crazy about dancing, but — before all these people—we must stop." “It can't be done,’’ he mur- mured resolutely. ‘*We're on a magazine cover.’ Cured While You Wait Mrs. Osher—What did the doc- tor say? Osher—He said I nceded a rest. Gee! I was tickled! I had al- ready had it sitting in his office two hours waiting to see him. The Irony of It “cr FOOL there was, and she made her prayer, Even as you and I,"’ To fashion and style and things to wear, So one man might call her ‘*his lady fair,"* She had bills that reached to the sky, Oh, the hats she bought! The 'broideries wrought! Oh, the prinking and curling and paint! How she braced and laced, for a small, straight waist! She was tired enough to faint. But the man she craved, he became enslaved, When shipwrecked, one early fall, On a desert isle, by a maiden’s smile— A maid who wore nothing at all! —Margaret G. Hays. Do You Suffer from Pianos? Mrs. Kicker—This song ad says, ‘Try this on your piano."’ I wonder if it’s worth while?’’ Kicker—Get the neighbors to try it on theirs first. If it does their piano any good, we'll see if it can cure ours. THE TREASURER