Judge, 1915-07-10 · page 9 of 28
Judge — July 10, 1915 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* collects humorous anecdotes mocking golf's obsessive appeal to early 20th-century American leisure-class players. The central joke across all pieces: golf players care *only* about the game, prioritizing it above human decency, romance, and practical concerns. Key examples: - **"The Ruling Passion"**: A man regrets killing a pedestrian solely because it ruined his hole-in-one attempt—satirizing misplaced priorities. - **"Gags de Linxe"** sketches parody golf's consuming nature: a woman tests her boyfriend's love through golf performance; a golfer's specialty is slicing sandwiches (a pun). - **"It's Name"**: A child's wordplay joke—"lonesome" for one-player golf—plays on the sport's isolation. - **"The Provident Bingston"** and other pieces use golf terminology applied absurdly to life situations. The satire targets golf as an upper-class obsession that warps values and judgment. For modern readers: this reflects Roaring Twenties anxieties about newly wealthy Americans' leisure pursuits and perceived moral distortion through wealth-enabled indulgence.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
She—How’s your game to-day? /e—Punk! difference does the stupid score make? Not a bit! What I cared about was whether you thought more of me or of a miserable, lit- tle, white ball. And now I know! As the ogre said, putting's the final test. And, oh! but didn’t you meet it magnificently?” The youth blinked, in the manner of one slightly dazzled and seeing imperfectly, therefore. ‘‘I—I'’—he faltered. ‘‘Give mea minute to— Say, though, what's the trouble now?’’ The hand on his arm suddenly had tightened its hold. There was swift apprehension in the beautiful eyes looking into his; the lovely lips trembled. “Think, dear, how heartbreaking it'd have been if you'd holed in one!"’ cried the prettiest girl tragically. Gags de Linxe The Ruling Passion 660 YOU regret, my good man,”’ said the judge, ‘‘having killed the pedestrian with your golf ball?’’ “*Yes,’’ said the confirmed player, with tears in his eyes; ‘‘Ido. If he hadn’t got in the way, I'd have made that hole in one less than bogie."’ The Obedient Golfeuse “Why is Mrs. Duffley wiping her eyes? Has she been crying?”’ “No. The golf expert told her to keep her eye on the ball, and she drove into the stream."” His Specialty “Had we better take our lunch with us to-day?’’ “Yes; and let Dufferington pre- I did nothing but top the ball and dig up the turf. “Young man, do you know what becomes of little boys She—I see—sort of topsy turfy. It's Name **Paw, when a game has four players in it, it’s called a four- some, isn’t it?** “*Sure."" “With two players it’s a twosome?”’ “Yep.” “Then what’s a game with one in it?’’ “*A lonesome.”* The Provident Bingston **What makes Bingston take that duck with him under his arm?”’ “*He has it trained to retrieve the balls, at the water hazards."" He Understood the Game “*How much time do you give a fellow to eat breakfast here?"’ asked the indignant passenger at a twenty- minutes-for-dinner joint. “Well, twelve minutes is bogie for the meal they serve here,’’ an- swered the train conductor on the adjoining stool.—strickland Gillilan. Professional Asset Lofter—What makes that kid such a popular caddie? He looks like an idiot. Mashie—He is—so he can't keep count above five. Bobby’s Limitations Visitor—Bobby, did the doctor say you had any pronounced illness? Bobby—Yessum, but I couldn't pare the sandwiches. Slicing is his Specialty.’” who use bad language while they are playing “Yes, sir, ‘They grow up and play golf. marbles ?'" pronounce it.