Judge — July 10, 1915 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EX PLAINED Motherly party—So you stayed right on in Paris, even though the German army was near! Flo Furbelowe—Well, auntie, how could | leave? | was having a costume made at Machin's! Speaking of Golf MAN may at all times be able to con- trol his wife, or a bank, or one wing of a political party; but if he goes on the green without knowing the game of golf, he mayconsider himself not much more suffi- cient than the lowliest inter- loper. It is not argued that the game should be learned before going near one, but all the fundamental princi- ples must be gathered into the mind while no one is around, except possibly a member of the immediate family or some other close friend who is already aware of your ignorance. Golf must always be played in the first per- son. However, if one feels disinclined or indisposed to playing the entire circuit of holes, he may at small cost hire some good man to go around for him, while he sits in the shade at the last hole and waits the re- sult. Golf is more simple than checkers, though hardly as safe a game; however, the only likelihood of a casualty is the liability of the golier walking himself to death. Progress and prudence are the watch- words in playing golf. One feature that makes it superior to baseball is that the player may hit the ball, or hit at it, as the case may be, as many times as he chooses, without striking out. No umpire is needed in a golf game, the only possible opening for an argument being between the player and the caddie, and as the latter’s mind is usually on something far away, the player has much the advantage. Golf develops self-restraint, it being against the by-laws to swear in the pres- ence of the boy or in hearing distance of the other players, now far in the lead. At the teeing of a ball the player must gather all the strength and courage he has, in the one grand effort to knock it as far as possible. It is his high hope to swat it so hard and so true that it will go bound- ing over the green, jumping ditches here and climbing hills yonder, until it brings itself to a halt within a few inches of the next hole. But this requires a great deal of skill and some imagination, as golf balls have a way of straying off, like many chil- dren, in some other than the desired direc- tion. It is only after they have received many hard knocks and light taps that they drop into the hole. In some cases it is per- missible to pick up the ball and drop it gently into the hole. This requires skill, as it must be done while no one is looking. This is called playing golf by hand. Golf reduces the fat and builds up the lean, broadens the mind, widens the feet ‘and develops a farmhand appetite that must be satisfied at the clubhouse hard by. George Bingham. The Score SWUNG the club with all my force, When starting round the Midland course. I hit the ground while on the tee, And broke my club—that cost me 3.00 Next time I hit the tiny pill And aimed it at a distant hill, The ball was lost—an awful drive— And I was stung for 85 And just a moment after that A speeding golf ball smashed my hat. This golfing game is mighty fine— The hat had cost And then it started in to rain, And rained with all its might and main; This pasture pool is sure great fun— To press my suit cost even 3.49 1.00 This game of golf is fine, they say; But me for tennis or croquet! 3 Some games cost less and some cost more, But this one cost 8.34 —Claude H. Gamble. Caught! Thomson (overtaking Jonson on the lat- ter’s issue from a feminine friend's house) —wWhat’s the trouble, dear chap—a misun- derstanding? Jonson (gloomily)—Exactly—a miss un- derstanding! . comicbooks.com