Judge — July 3, 1915 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LATIN — E D I An Open Field HE ONLY field of human activity that has so far escaped the tentacles of the efficiency expert is love making. Yet mod- ern love making, both conventional and uncon- ventional, isundoubtedly the most inefficient method of courtship that we as a race have ever employed. A good hickory club and a dark night were all that our prehistoric forbears wanted when they went forth to find their affinities. Any medieval knight that could not win the heart and soul of an angelic princess in ten seconds flat was known at once asa recreant. Even our own famous, mollycoddle, Puritan John Alden, put one over on his friend, Miles, in no time; and John had absolutely nothing but a penchant for theology and introspec- tion. But to-day, with all our redolent cosmet- ics, smooth talk, psychological moments and metaphysical piffle, we mess along and get nowhere. Love making offers a virgin field for efficiency engineering. Some one with a fondness for figures and foolishness ought to investigate. Good Looks and the Man T THE age of seventeen good looks ap- pear to be the greatest gift that the Divine Power can bestow. Do you remem- ber, when you were in that painful period of adolescence, how often you gazed fixedly upon your reflection in the looking-glass? How you analyzed your face, feature by feature, and strove to assume an expression that would best meet your idea of manly beauty? You always had a sneaking idea that you were good-looking. Certain painful experiences with the fair sex were calculated to dis- lodge that fond belief, but, then, there was always the looking-glass, with its consoling reflection. But as you grew older, good looks seemed to lose their importance in the scheme of things. Folks are prone to mini- mize their fear of a swelling waistline in thesterner pur- suit of a swelling pocket- book. Anyway, ten minutes’ contemplation of a portrait of Abraham Lincoln willcon- jure up a world of soothing thoughts. Skirts HE SKIRT is a tubular envelope designed to create commotion and dis- courage locomotion. It is opaque, translucent, trans- parent, etc., according to the roguishness of Gertrude. If the hosiery and petticoat are bizarre and the ankles are pretty, a slit is made in the lower edge of the skirt to expedite Gertie’s mobility. Skirts begin at wherever the waistline hap- pens to be and extend to the ankles when the wind is not blowing. On the stage and at the beach good form dispenses with them. Some skirts should be worn in the dark of the moon. Brief Decisions OME young men seem to think the pur- suit of happiness means going the pace. We all like the man who looks as though he did not know anything much better than YANKEE DOODLE DANDY we like the one who looks as though we did not know anything. The compilers of the Revised Version, when they toned it down to ‘‘hades,’’ had never been jurors in a sensational lawsyit, forbidden to read what the newspapers said about it. i) Electrically considered, popular gov- ernment is often a dead wire, because the man who has the most volts to con- duct affairs proves to be a non-conductor. Shocking! comichooks, com