Judge — July 3, 1915 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ee EFI PREIS TL: as ‘Trujoy’s tone of embarrassment had given place to a dignified and censorious air. | ° “Do you think this a nice thing?’’ She dangled the garter under hisnose. ‘*When a woman is cruelly deceived, it's perfectly proper for her to find evidence of her husband's villainy. Oh! You—you—Lothario! Do you know what I’m going to do—this very day?"’ And she vouchsafed the information before Trujoy could even make a guess. ‘I’m going to sue you for divorce!’’ “I'm innocent—innocent, dearie! Will you hear me? Where's the coat? I'll ex- plain.”” Mrs. Trujoy frou-froued out of the room, fixing him with her eyes on the way, and returned in a moment with the coat. ‘Here. Explain. You area clever liar!" “You remember, don't you, dearie, that Smith and I are ex- actly of a size? I've told you. We patronize the same tailor, and more than once he has remarked that either one of us could be measured for clothes for the other. This is Smith's coat."’ And Trujoy showed her the identification slip within a pocket. “Well, Smith must be a bird! A fine companion!’’ Mrs, Trujoy’s disgust was apparent. ‘‘But how did you change coats during a business conference, I'd like to know!"" “It was this way. After our business talk he challenged me to agame at billiards. Of course we took off our coats to play."" “Ah! That accounts for your staying out all night, eh?’’ “Yes. I'll confess whenever I'm guilty. And I beat him so badly at billiards he was amazed, and we apparently got mixed up in our coats."” There was a ring, and a maid appeared in a moment with a bundle and a letter addressed to Trujoy. He nervously opened it, but at once assumed a gay air. ‘‘See? This is from Smith. He Le vee has returned my coat and wants his back. Now you see what sus- picion does, my dear!’’ Mrs. Trujoy, softened in temper, had opened the bundle and was absently going through the pockets of Trujoy’s coat. she found something. blazing again. In one **How about this?’’ she cried, her eyes And she held up another and a prettier garter. TRUER THAN HE THINKS Golfer—It you won't invite me, I'll come over, anyway. First Aids to Knowledge Hot Springs—Interval between cold winters and rainy sum- mers. [Analogous to Summer Resorts, q. v.] Saratoga Reservation, The—The state of mind wherewith one receives assurances that there is no bookmaking at the races. Gulf Stream—A current grown by the Weather Bureau and served as a dietary fillip whenever the public tires of climatic prunes. Panama—A place famous for hats not made there; a canal in which Uncle Sam hopes to put the can. Great White Way, The—See Colonization, Expansion and White Man’s Burden. Safety First ‘N°? SAID Uncle Solomon, in response to a question put by a stranger in our midst; ‘‘we ain't a-goin’ t’ have no safe an’ sane Fourth o’ July celerbration in Slowtown this year. ‘‘ We tried out that there idee last sea- son an’ had a heap o’ trouble. Fust, Jed Barker's horses that pulls the hotel hack got scairt o’ the red cheesecloth that they was a-usin’ in the D. A. R. parade an’ run away, throwin’ out a couple o’ drummers an’ bruisin’ them up considerable. Then the bottom fell out o’ one o’ them Japyneese lanterns an’ set Eph Bascom’s store on fire. The volunteer fire department was all over in t’other end o’ town, attendin’ some sort 0’ lecture, so the store burned plumb down before they could git on the job. **Considerin’ all the damage that was did, we decided that it was a blamed sight better to stick by the old plans; so we're goin’ t’ have a rip-roarin’ Fourth this year.’” THE TREASURER SUGGESTS THAT THE MEMBERS PAY THEIR DUES Wellington named the famous battle Waterloo, be- cause he slept at that place the night before. On that basis, Napoleon would have named it The Switch.