Judge — June 26, 1915 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Lazytown Local News T= postmaster has declared next Mon- day a national holiday, he having set aside that date to plant his garden. Since there is an old tradition in some parts of the country that all jaybirds go to hades on Friday of each week, Sile Kildew will turn his pet jaybird loose next Friday and follow him, at least part of the way. The editor of the Tickville Tidings stated editorially in his last issue that there will be no ‘Voice of the People’’ column in his paper for the next few issues, the well- known author, ‘*Vox Populi,’’ having be- come too hoarse to write. fa} A lady friend from the Calf Ribs neigh- borhood is expected here this week, to be the guest of Miss Flutie Belcher. She will wear her best clothes and fix up her hair right tight, and expects to make quite a favorable impression during her stay in this vicinity. a Sidney Hocks has made a scientific dis- covery that is a mystery. He stated at the Wild Onion school entertainment the other night that he did not know whether anybody else had noticed it or not, but said he had observed that while the world was round like a ball, all the geographies and maps are made flat. Oo Tobe Moseley, while taking a drink of water at the cistern Friday morning, gave it as his opinion that the money system should be arranged so that the poor man would have a better showing. He would suggest that all money in the United States be converted into small change and then putinto circulation. Then most of it would fall into the hands of the poor man, small change being all that he is able to get. —George Bingham. Striking an Average a HEN it comes to the point where a body of so-called intelligent men are compelled to take their pens in hand and figure for seven hours, in order to find out just how much a no-account old geezer, who hasn’t a dollar in the world, should pay for his failure to marry a cross-eyed widow with seven kids, my idea of an American citizen's duty in the juryroom suffers a list to starboard that is something fierce,’’ re- marked Jasper Knox, the sage of Piketown- on-the-Blink. ‘‘It has always been my con- tention that the average cross-eyed widow's affections that have been lost, strayed or stolen, generally increase in value at about the same ratio as the price the owner places upon the carcass of a mooley heifer, after the defendant railway company’s locomo- tive has obliterated her young and unevent- ful career, simply because she got the fool totion in her noddle that her constitutional tights were being invaded when the durned old train refused to leave the track and get out of her way.’’ ET a woman be sure her preserves will turn out well—and she looks forward with eager anticipation to the preserving season. Once you use part Karo (Crystal White) in your pre- serving syrup instead of all sugar, you begin to gain a con- fidence in results you never felt before. For strawberries, the sum- mer fruits, peaches and pears— the syrup made with Karo (Crystal White) blends per- fectly with the fruit and brings out the natural flavor. Such a syrup keeps jams and jellies smooth and prevents sugaring and crystallizing. Ask your grocer for a Karo Preserving Book—or drop us a post card with your name and address, and we will mail you a copy, free. Tell him to send you a can of Karo Syrup (Crystal White), follow the proportions and di- rections as given in the Karo Preserving Book and see why more than a million American woman are using Karo (Crystal White) in all their preserving, season after season. Write for your FREE copy of Karo Preserving Book to CORN PRODUCTS REFINING CO. Dept. U NEW YORK P. O. Box 161 comicbooks.com