Judge, 1915-06-26 · page 11 of 25
Judge — June 26, 1915 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This story satirizes wealthy young engaged couples of the early 1900s, mocking their superficiality and entitlement. The couple—shown in an artificially manicured estate—bicker endlessly about honeymoon destinations while displaying conspicuous consumption values: the woman regrets her delayed marriage cost her a Paris trousseau, and both obsess over fashionable travel. The satire targets their frivolous priorities: they have wealth, youth, and love, yet find nothing satisfactory. Each proposed destination gets rejected with snobbish complaints—Europe is impossible, the West Indies too hot, the Pacific coast attracts "vulgar" tourists, and sailing risks warship torpedoes (a topical WWI reference). The author lampoons how privilege creates perpetual dissatisfaction and how social pretension—imported French gowns, exclusive vacation spots—dominates their thinking over genuine happiness. Their perfect circumstances yield only complaint.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PROSPECTIVE HONEYMOONERS By J. A. WALDRON HEY were walking in the impressively artificial grounds of her father’s suburban estate. Money had dominated nature everywhere almost to the point of audible assertion. He was privileged to do as he liked on the premises, for they were betrothed. So he plucked roses for her—roses so magnificent that they also seemed artificial, though they gave of their perfume. And she cherished them daintily, because his love had impulsed him to pluck them for her. Equal in fortune, fit in age, with nothing on their minds but affection and honeymoon plans, happiness was theirs now, and why should it not be theirs indefinitely? **It’s disgraceful that we can't go to Europe,’’ she remarked. ‘Perfectly rotten!’’ he replied. ‘*You see now, dear, what a mistake you made in not consenting when I asked you nearly two years ago."" **But wasn't it unreasonable in you to ask me to marry you my first season out? One wants to be free to follow one’s impulses at least a year before settling down, A girl is so ignorant—so crude —when she comes out. She has no social finish—no finesse. You wouldn't care to marry a perfect ingenue, I'm sure!"’ “Oh! Ah! Perhaps not. But delay has caused other embar- rassments. Upset many plans."’ **Don’t I know? I couldn't get my trousseau in Paris. I've cried my eyes out over that disappointment. I've really lovely things ready, but they’re not imported. Madame du Vey—she claims to be French and to have designed most of the costumes that bore the mark of Raquin, of the Rue de la Paix, when she was with him—says my things are in every way superior to Raquin's. Papa says their cost was outrageous! But you can imagine my humiliation when I shall have to bring them out to show to the girls whose trousseaux were really made in Paris! “Oh, you'll get over that. Shall we discuss again where we are to spend the honeymoon?" **We'll never agree about that, dear.’ “You still decline to go yachting to the West Indies?"” “Decidedly. It’s absurd! We should die of heat."’ ‘Nonsense! Take Porto Rico, for instance. The temperature there never varies from the seventies. We could have a fine time h discomforts on every hand! Those places are barbaric ‘Well, let's sail to the north, then. The land of Evangeline and all that.’” “*And be torpedoed by some warship on the way! want to go to the Pacific coast." “With a crowd of vulgar exposition seekers !"" You know I comicbooks.com