Judge — June 12, 1915 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard Why He Didn’t Help—‘‘ Why did you not help the defendant in the fight, if that’s the case?” asked the examining counsel. Mr. Cassidy looked at the lawyer with contempt and answered in a tone of blight- ing scorn, ‘‘For the r’ason that at the toime Qi had no means of knowing which o’ thim would be the defendant.""—Buffalo Courier. Pa’s Sarcasm—‘‘ Thump-rattlety-bang ! went the piano. “What are you trying to play, Jane called out her father from the next room. “It's an exercise from my new instruc- tion book, ‘First Steps in Music,’’’ she answered. “Well, I knew you were playing with your feet,"” he said grimly; ‘but don't step so heavily on the keys—it disturbs my thoughts. '’—Musical Courier. A Sympathetic Response— Young man—I have called, sir, to request the hand of your daughter in marriage. Grumbells—Has she accepted you? Young man—Yes, sit. Grumbells—Then what do you want to come around and bother me with your trou- bles for?—Aansas City Times. Getting Back—Doctor—Why have you de- ducted a quarter from my bill? Patient—That is for the six cigars you broke when you thumped my chest—Dallas News. A Misunderstood Suggestion — Society dame—Oh, doctor, I’m so sorely troubled with ennui! Doctor—H’m! Why don’t you interest yourself in finding out how the other half lives? Society dame—Gracious! Why, I’m not looking for a divorce !—Chicago News. His Grievance—‘‘It’s harder to attract attention than it used to be,’ remarked the town clown. “What makes you think so?"’ “IT remember when I could get all kinds of a laugh simply by wearing a straw hat before the first of May.''—Washington Star. But They Were Scarce—‘‘De Lawd lov- eth a churful giver!’’ solemnly said Parson Bagster, after the collection had been taken up. ‘*But''—the good old man darted a glance at the well-nigh empty plate—‘* dunno whuh He finds any of ’em!'"—Chi- cago Record-Herald. r Knew Him—‘ Well, how about that little n>" But I told you to call at four o'clock, and it is only three now."’ “T know it; I wanted to catch you in." —Houston Post. What Delighted Him—‘‘To-day, for the first time, I was really delighted to hear my neighbor's piano going."’ “Something worth listening to, I sup- “Ishould say so. I heard the installment men taking it away.’’—Musical America. Not Avoirdupois—‘‘ Hiram writes that the first week he was in London he lost £12."" “Heavens! what an unhealthful place London must be Glasgow Record. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER, Ite parity has made it famous ” We the case of six class stoppered bottles, [apvT. a=—='= Quebec is Old France — witha Difference. All the charm of quaint old-world travel-haunts is reproduced in this city that stands guard over Canada. Yet Quebec is individ- ual—distinctive—its ‘‘atmosphere”’ is all its own—its quaintness is of a quality that holds the interest even more surely than the Europe that was America’s ‘‘Mecca’’ of travel. So you can come to this grand old town, with a certainty of enjoying a holiday quite as fas- cinating as any you ever had abroad. Our book {ells all you'll want To Montreal and to know—tells all about our famous Niagara-to-the-Sea trip, and > $18.55 about our delightful Summer Hotels at Murray Bay and Tadousac. return $18.55, A ti To Quebec and re- Send 6c. in stamps to cover cost of mailing. 7 een a Thos. Henry, Passenger Traffic Mer. ‘and return.#34.55 Canada Steamship Lines, Limited, 112 Victoria Square, Montreal. Fares from Niagara Falls: Ce FOR SALE EVERYWHERE comicbooks.com