Judge, 1915-06-12 · page 15 of 24
Judge — June 12, 1915 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising mixed with humorous local-interest content** rather than political satire. The main feature is "Lazytown Local News" by George Bingham, a rural humor column featuring absurdist anecdotes about fictional small-town characters and their mundane misadventures—a man whose pants are too wide to bend in, stolen potatoes that sprout underground, a church building moved inches to avoid a runaway mule, a schoolteacher unable to catch fish despite earnest effort. The humor derives from exaggeration and incongruity typical of early 20th-century rural comedy. No political commentary is evident. The column appears designed as filler alongside three product advertisements: National Biscuit Company (Festino candies), the 1,000 Island House resort, and Faultless pajamas. This layout was standard for Judge magazine's mixed content format.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Lazytown Local News (OLUMBUS ALLSOP and several others C went seining in Gimlet Creek Friday of this week. Cricket Hicks also went along and helped them, but did not venture into very deep water, as he had on his fade- less red necktie. Yam Sims has a new pair of pants. The stripes run up and down and are so wide he can hardly bend his knees. Wash Hocks, who by a jury was found not guilty of stealing a lot of sweet pota- toes from the blind man of the Calf Ribs neighborhood, will probably be rearrested, asthe potatoes, which he buried until the excitement died down, have sprouted and come up. Several rain clouds passed over our com- munity this week, but none of them stopped. Qo The Dog Hill church building had a nar- row escape from destruction or serious dam- age the other day, when a large gray mule, presided over by Jefferson Potlocks, ran away. The frightened animal was headed directly toward the church, but several by- standers moved the building back a few inches just as the mule swept by with great velocity. Fishing has been right dull on Gander Creek. The Wild Onion school teacher spent a day recently on the banks of the stream and reports that, while he earnestly solicited their support in his endeavors and held out every inducement to them, the fish seemed disinclined to take hold of anything he had to offer. Poke Eazley’s wagon is confined to the blacksmith shop, with a general breakdown. Raz Barlow, who was in Tickville last week for a day, sustained only slight in- juries in a collision with the approaching Tickville accommodation train, as both were traveling at a slow rate of speed when the accident occurred. is] Miss Hostetter Hocks has been greatly puzzled for the past few days, as she has been unable, after a thorough search of the premises, to find her chewing gum she stuck up somewhere. Pal The stopper unexpectedly flew out of Isaac Hellwanger’s jug the other day, while he was going along the road, and had not Raz Barlow been present to drink it as fast as it ran out, Isaac would have lost the entire contents of the jug. Frisby Hancock's watch underwent its annual spring cleaning this week. He took it apart, oiled up the pulleys, wiped off the bearings and tightened up all the taps. Then he took his watch key, which he wears on his chain, and wound up the Springs. And now his watch is in such Good condition it runs several hours faster than it did before. —George Bingham, “Sweets to the Sweeiimmand Avhat confection could better complerigm@esmifing eyes and ruby lips? The crisp, fragile dessert sweets beloved by all. twenty-five-cent tins. FESTINO—An almond-shaped dessert confection with a sweetened-cream filling of almond flavor. ATIONAL BISCUIT COMPANY 1,000 ISLAND HOUSE Alexandria Bay, Jefferson County, New York y hour, or quiet, complete © House is Filtered. Send two 2cent stamps for Ilustrated Booklet. O. G. STAPLES, Proprietor WILLIAM WARBURTON, Mgr. Wwafers—the rich, creamy centers of Nabisco Sugar Wafers make these In ten-cent and e668 4 ib by SINCE test E. Rosenfeld & Ca Makers Baltimore and New York comicbooks.com