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Judge, 1915-05-29 · page 12 of 24

Judge — May 29, 1915 — page 12: what you’re looking at

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Judge — May 29, 1915 — page 12: Judge, 1915-05-29

What you’re looking at

This story satirizes the marriage market and female romantic opportunism of the era. Hebe, a widow, juggles two wealthy suitors—Lionel Gwynne and Hugh Gilbert—each believing he has designated "evenings" with her. She delays committing to either, claiming she must "carefully study" her choice, while enjoying the attention and courtship from both men simultaneously. The satire's point: when both men unexpectedly arrive together and discover the deception, they calmly shake hands and depart—neither returning. The implication is biting: Hebe's calculated, mercenary approach to remarriage (prioritizing wealth and leisure over genuine affection) backfires completely. By treating marriage as a transaction to be "studied" rather than a sincere commitment, she loses both prospects. The accompanying cartoon "Prepared for the Worst" shows a military officer with a flask disguised as binoculars, joking about Prohibition—a separate contemporary reference to alcohol restrictions.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

= <= “SS If she were to wed again, she wanted a man of wealth, yet he must have other attractions. “*Will you marry me?"’ Lionel Gwynne had asked her after a brisk and happy acquaintance. “T don't know,"’ was her reply. ‘*Let’s be good friends until Ican decide. Giving up liberty is a serious matter."’ There was enough of promise in this, with a touch of subor- dination, to please Gwynne. And so they dined and danced to- gether and made more or less amorous conversation still. Hebe saw him on certain evenings, and now and then of an afternoon, and he was content. + Hebe,"’ said Hugh Gilbert one evening—for Gilbert had certain evenings and other periods allotted to him—‘‘let’s get married.”” “Aren't you in a hurry?’’ she responded. ‘‘I want to think it A woman must make a careful study of the man she fixes This was constructively affirmative, over. upon for a second husband."" and Gilbert was delighted. It was difficult for Hebe to decide which of the two she liked the better. Both were of desirable age, both had money, neither, so far as she knew, had any habit not common with their kind, and both were attractive in appearance and disposition. One afternoon, the latter part of which, with the evening, was to be devoted to Gwynne, the doorbell and a ‘phone bell in Hebe’s boudoir rang at once. Gwynne was on the wire. His motor had broken down, and he might be detained for a time. “Mr. Gilbert is downstairs,’’ the maid reported. “I'll be down at once,"’ said Hebe. ‘*How fortunate!"’ she thought. In a bewitching semi-negligee she greeted Gilbert in the reception-room. a happy surprise! But I thought you were to call to-morrow. “*T just couldn't keep away. Come out to dinner with me.’ “Oh, I couldn’t possibly this evening. Do you want me to break a promise? Three women friends are coming to play auction. You have to-morrow evening, you know. Aren't you greedy!'’ He was at least engaging. He made love to her with more than his usual fervor. He begged her again to marry him. She lost thought of the time of day. Neither of them paid any attention to the bell. Gwynne, picked up by a friend’s motor and hurrying in, had been admitted by the parlor maid, who knew it was his day. Yet under a sentimental obsession of her own—she had just glimpsed a roundsman with whom she had a date for the evening—she had forgotten that her mistress was engaged. Walking confidently down the hall, Gwynne saw gloves, a hat and a cane on a table. His surprise was oncerting when ina mirror he caught a full view of Hebe and Gilbert, who were oblivi- ous to all extrinsic affai Gwynne coughed. A forced cough is sometimes more disturbing than the chronic affliction. Hebe and Gilbert, startled from their trance, saw Gwynne. “This AB, ) ve THE HONEY BEES walked out with Hebe. “Hello, Gwynne!"’ said Gilbert, as he “IT didn’t know you were acquainted with Mrs. “*Same here!"’ interrupted Gwynne. Hebe, for the first time in her memory, was off her pois Gwynne and Gilbert shook hands, and for a few momen was a triangular eftort to summon e: It was so unsu that the men departed together, though courteous to each other and to Hebe, and apparently in good humor. Yet neither of them ever came back. se. PREPARED FOR THE WORST Major What the ——? Captain—Na-as had my outfitler make a flask of my old field glasses —brandy one side, soda the other. No knowing where this prohibition business will end. Say when. comichooks.