Judge, 1915-05-15 · page 8 of 24
Judge — May 15, 1915 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces from *Judge* magazine: **"The Bud Letters"** (top left) is a handwritten personal letter from Burges Johnson—difficult to fully decipher due to cursive handwriting, but appears to be casual correspondence about social observations. **"Vacation Glossary"** (top right) is satirical wordplay defining vacation-related terms mockingly. It ridicules resort advertising as deceptive, fishing as futile, hotel keepers as greedy ("cross between a robber and Monte Cristo"), and particularly mocks vacationers' shallow behavior—gossip ("rocking-chair brigade"), generic postcards, and temporary flirtations. The final definition jokes that vacation enjoyment mathematically equals zero. **"The Unexpected"** (bottom) is a single-panel cartoon showing a man proposing to a wealthy woman despite being poor, with her father's response: he'll "remove the obstacle"—implying he'll kill the suitor. The humor lies in the dark twist on what appears to be a romantic setup, and the father's casual acceptance of his daughter's determination. All three pieces reflect early-20th-century middle-class American social satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Bud Letters By BURGES JOHNSON Dien Bot Rademb proved ony frrnfeu 9 gowhachief atest hy jssrtow mmacteby Otrla wf Cchrecl fin. af bok tutheclcluthy ting eotridvit Orst Inetoy Raprhiing aby AY mead ewe Let alright now ders chat Ont -b Yours the ar Girt ow unvtovstintuell 9 Anaste Rervactlerpirndothrei, amine favor lw Radehy mubbte to Reve Jee sorte arg tebel ary row, 0 ident mean ty Avr Aarvinda itv romeing Ady po ew Gard Advice E WAS down on his luck, and I eased ‘im a buck with the usual line of ad- vice. He looked at me, tired—which I since have admired—and said, ‘‘Thanky, bo, for de price.’* What a sure-enough mut is the average nut when he starts running off at the mouth to the guy who knows more as to why he is pore than a desert can learn about drouth! The guy most in need of advice will not heed, and the gink with good sense don’t deserve it. So it’s wasted, old top, every time it’s let drop; if you've any in stock, just preserve it! Strickland Gillilan, Vacation Glossary By DON BR R SUMMER resort—Refers to the alluring advertising of hotel keepers, a resort for snaring the unwary. Boating and fishing—Hoaxes that furnish chances both for the fool that rocks the boat and the aspirant for a Carnegie medal. Hotel keeper—A cross between a robber and a Monte Cristo, of whom the guest dreams as an octopus with tentacles reach- ing after his last dollar. Kodak—An infernal machine, whose con- tents figure as Exhibit A in many an autumn divorce case. Life saver—1, The hero of the beach, whose poses furnish thrills for enough fem- inine heart throbs to fill a dozen r. w. chambers novels. 2, Bourbon when your stopping-place is in dry territory. Mosquitoes—Guests not registered that THE make more impressions on the vacationist than anything else. Rocking-chair brigade—A misnomer. In reality a firing squad led by General Gossip for the purpose of shooting reputations, Round-trip ticket—Stands in same rela- tion to traveler as a life preserver on board a ship, especially after arrival at a‘‘simply abominable’’ summer resort. Summer correspondence — Post cards, ninety-seven per cent. of which bear the clever and original greeting, ‘‘Having a fine time. Wish you were here.”” Summer flirtation—Progressive love usu- ally ending with the mutual discovery that the other is married. Vacation—A problem in mathematics. Two weeks of leisure subtracted from busi- ness multiplied by expenditure of cash di- vided by travel and trouble plus lack of sleep minus pleasure equals what? UNEXPECTED ir, I admit being a poor man ; but I am determined to marry your daughter in spite of her wealth.” “Ob, well, if that’s the case, I'll just remove the obstacle."”