Judge — May 8, 1915 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i= asst okies 4 Es Mie Bbts, , Stoties ‘with Smifes The Alternative—The talk was on the subject of distinctions, and this little story was recalled by Senator Lee S. Overman. of North Carolina: In an Eastern city there was a young man who was not very ambitious. The kind of work that he was willing to do was not forthcoming, and the result was a regular attendance at the ci store, “Hello, Jim!"' solicitously remarked a riend, meeting the young man on the street one afternoon. ‘‘Have you got that posi- tion ee "* responded the youth, with an ap- propriate sigh. “Positions seem to be very scarce just now.” “Stull, I wouldn’t give up, old boy,’’ kindly encouraged the friend. ‘‘If you can't get a position, why don’t you look around for a job?"’—Philadelphia Telegraph. Teacher Was Unfair—It was little How- ard’s first term in school—in fact, it was almost his first month as a pupil—and one day he returned home wearing a discour- aged expression. His mother noticed the sad look of the lad and asked, . “Why, what is the trouble, Howard? You look so worried !'" “TLain’t going to school no more,"’ replied the boy, starting away from the mother. “Why, dear, what is the matter?’’ asked the mother. use, mother, explained the boy, ‘*’tain’t no I can't learn to spell. One day I learn how to spell the words, and then the next day the teacher gives us all new words, She just keeps changing them every day, and that ain’t no way to do."’—Colum- bus Dispatch, Marital Diplomacy—Plunger—I felt aw- fully sorry for a poor guy down at the ex- change to-day. He lost five thousand on cotton, and all the boys were guying him, and as he started off home, they taunted tim with the prediction that his wife would nd on him roughshod. The poor chap ated as though he felt pretty badly about it. Mrs, Plunger (sympathetically) — Poor fellow! No doubt he used his best judg- ment, and if his wife turns on him because of his reverses, she is not worthy to be alled wife. But who was the man? Plunger—Why -er—it was me.—Wom- on's Home Companion. Minister Got Even—The minister was de- livering his farewell sermon. He had been having tough luck in collecting his salary = concluded to quit. Here is what he say iow, brethren, I have been appointed chaplain of the penitentiary of the State, and this will be my last Sunday among you. Iwill preach from the text, ‘I go to prepare aplace for you,’ after which the choir will sing ‘Meet Me There.’ ''—Kiowa (Kan.) Review, Only Successful Way—‘ Does Miss Blon- dine play golf?"* “Yes, fluently.""—Philadelphia Ledger. DEITIES Teople of culture, re- finement and education incariably PREFER Deities t any other HAE bee Shirts Rosenfeld & Ca Makers, Balto. and New York Real Thrills of Patriotism Get You at Mount Vernon. If you have been there, then you will understand. Your thrills, Your Visit, and the things You Saw are described in a 4 The Finest Souvenir Classy Little Book Done in Colonial Blue and Butt, -, or Gift Book of the Year. MOUNT VERNON, THE HOME OF WASHINGTON By J. E. JONES Send $1, and the book will be mailed postpaid. If you are not entirely satisfied with it, mail it back to us within 10 days, and your dollar will be retumed. U. S. PRESS ASSOCIATION 524 BOND BUILDING WASHINGTON, D. C. comicbooks.com