Judge — May 8, 1915 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing, the Mustard How Philosophers Work Socrates asked questions when He would teach young gentlemen; He asked, “*Why?"’ They said, ‘* Be- u Golly, what a cinch it was! Everybody else said, ‘He's Some sage, is old Socrates!"" Socrates, the dear old nut, Questioned very wisely—but When he got home late at night Couldn’t answer questions right. When he met up with Xantippe, That philosopher was dippy! In our own self-praising eyes, You and I are very wise. We're so clever, we amaze Those who loaf around cafes. But when we get home, oh, why Can't we to our wives reply? —Ted Robinson, in Cleveland Plain Dealer, Her Plan—Mrs. Youngwed—Well, dear, I've found a flat, and the cars go right past the door. Youngwed—Won't the noise of the elec- trics disturb your rest, my love? Mrs. Youngwed—Oh, the landlord assured me that I wouldn't mind it after the first two nights, and you know, dear, we can sleep the first two nights at mother’s.— Boston Transcript. The Farmer's Idea—‘‘I am a servant of the people,’’ said the man who is more pol- itic than patriotic. “I don’t like to hear you call yourself a servant,"" commented Farmer Corntossel. “As I think of the taxes I pay toward your salary, i. makes me feel as if I were up against the tipping evil. ''— Washington Star. Delayed—Eileen—Viola is to be married in July. She always said she meant to be a June bride. I wonder how it happened she wasn’t. Eleanor—| think it was the fault of the man, who neglected to ask her in time.— Brooklyn Citizen. Who She Was—‘* Mamma!"" “Yes, daughter.” “Who was Cinderella?"’ “Why, Cinderella, my child, was the first female to get a No. 4 foot into a No. 2 Shoe, I beli ""— Yonkers Statesman, Timpson’s Retort—Sie—No, Mr. Jimp- son, I’m sorry; but I wouldn't marry the best man living. Ho—No? Well, at any rate, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that he offered himself.—Boston Globe. Sure Cure—‘‘What are you taking for your cold?’"? “Advice.""—Philadelphia Ledger. wi sore d i ih ih ae teu Crt “TAAMERS OF THE, CONSTITUTION OF THE UBAT HO. James Madison—Father of the Constitution” E FOURTH PRESIDENTof the United States con- sidered it a greater honor to be declared the Father of the Consti- tution than to have been elected twice to the highest office in the gift of his countrymen. No more Se ee esege and constant student of governmental problems ever lived than Madison, ‘They were his life-long passion. He it was who labored with all his Sent ability and indomitable will to have deeply imbedded in our ‘National Law those vital principles which forever guarantee wall Americans Religious Commercial and Personal Liberty. In private life he was genial and socialyet temperate. Many a foaming glass of good ,barley-malt beer he drank with his bosom friend Meera per er Father of the Declaration of Independence*’Madison died at 85 and aan at 83; both were unalterably opposed to tyrannous Pro- ibition Laws and advocated legislation which encouraged the brew. ing industry. Upon the tenets of the Constitution of the USA(to which adison devoted the best of his genius) Anheuser-Busch 58 years ago founded their great institution. To-day 7500 people ‘are daily required to produce and market their honest brews. Their chief brand Budweiser is sold throughout the civilized world—the drink of your forefathers—the drink of the noblest men who ever lived—the drink of the great triumphant nations. Budweiser sales exceed any other beer by millions of boules, ANHEUSER-BUSCH * ST: LOUIS,US.A, Visitors to St.Louis are courteously invited to inspect our plant — covers 142 acres F actory to Home of sclling direct from factory to nome, T can save you from 3110 to $200 on my celebrated Evans Artist Model Pianos. The easiest kind of terms, weekly, monthly, quar- Two to Four Years to Pay ii, trsciriy taymente town sooreony silence All middtemen, jobbers, deaters and agents profits cut out. No charge for salesrvom expense for my office Is In my factory. ‘These are some of the reasons why 1 can sell the Evans Artist Model Planos for such little money. Let me send you the other reasons, Write today. : <a] We stlow all freight charges, let you use the beautiful Evans Artist Model Piano for 30 Days Free Trial tity anys tec it sou see not entinely eatheeds we ait tak he bee ne er cost to you—you are the sole judge to decide. If you want to keep it, you may do so on our low factory wholesale price on moat convenient terms. Pianos—Player Pianos $ il 00 By My Plan | 4 To every customer in each locality we will rive a two years course of piano instruc- Free Music Lessons [ocean avout our instance plan aod ur ethod of savioe you matey, Write today. F. O. EVANS PIANO CO., Dept. 91, CHICAGO comicbooks.com