Judge — April 24, 1915 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

N DEITIES “Phe Utmost in Cigarettes Plain Enderork Tp R culture refinemen te lest edly PREFER ‘Deities 2 any other agarcte. Shsgrgyies Makers of the Highs VExkish cepa ease poorer rrr ran btsteithets 7 Rapannanh Attractive Short Sea Trips for Spring Vacations 666 miles of all-water travel, including ‘# meals and stateroom berth, also including 4) 1% days’ accommodations at the famous 4 HOTEL CHAMBERLIN Old Point Comfort, Va. Including All E: $] 8-50 ™Afloatand Aahore An Ocean Swim Indoors in The Chamberlin’e Great Sunlit Pompeian Sea Pool ARIE REET RODE RE SSS SS Ree BITES Tee Re re SEES. Every week day at 3 P.M. from Pier 23, North River, New York ees : sittin, | AGENTS SALESMAN MANAGERS YOUNG OR OLD STOP A DROP THE DEAD ON INVENTIO! Get started In an honest. clean, reliable, perm: business. Sold on a money-back g The Blackstone Water Power V ROAD MEN MAKE MONEY MERE START NOW —TODAY FN A postal wild BLACKSTONE M'F'G CO. _—_ ——— =| MINUTE READ | AGENTS | WAK! RT Wi HIS NEW | Tints 20th Ce TURY WONDER. "s GENERAL AGENTS money-making antee. uum Massage Machine A % From a Sinner’s Diary VISITOR has gone away leavin blank. It was here before she ¢ =a it was here all the time she was. She iit filled it, = Pein i folks who have eleven young S, ey're so poor they couldn't tak care of ten. Every time ma's hurried 7 over there, I have to get breakfast. and] object to abetting such extravagance eve that much. Then she comes home ii bakes and patches for ‘em, till they thin they've done something smart, ” know a man who doesn’t like my dia ries. It wasn't intended he should. , Humorists are humorists because they're humorists. I suppose they'd rather be brainy if they could. Ma says if I'm bound to be a fool, there's always plenty of opportuniti. So many violin women have bass-drum men and have to march the entire length of the parade being played with a drum stig —no matter whether she's in tune, he'd strike discords, anyway—while her bow is back somewhere in the procession laboring with a trombone. When Hyacinth calls me ‘‘Lynette’’ jp her Sunday voice, I know Mrs. Grundy is there and I must sit up straight and appear to have on a corset and bustle; but wher she says ‘*Tommy”’ in her we’ Bohemia voice— I know why brother is so peaceable. It’s because he’s little. He got in a muss the other day, and I asked, **Couldn't you two have turned in together and cleaned him up?’? ‘Heavens, no! If he'd got a crack at either of us, there'd been a crowd follow. ing along behind us, slow."’ All that saved him was his accident policy, he said. Last night I played for a dance. I wore my bird's-eye walnut tripped up with Page fence, with a lamp-wick trail long as from here to the Soldiers’ Home, that had tobe wound on a reel only when I was moving. The hall was full of wasps—ps—ps. They occasionally anchored down in the crowd, but the musicians got the most attention. —Lynette Freemice. Uncle Fogy’s Philosophy Marriage is often merely an endurance contest. When ‘‘Hon.’s”’ fall out, honest men her the truth. Genius is also an infinite capacity for giving pains. It must be hard for politicians to act as if they respected each other. After a man has thrown himself away, he should not call on other people to help find him. In life’s great prize contest most me never even get honorable mention until they are dead. —Tom P. Moree. Sense A little nonsense, now and then, Is relished by the best of men; But seen too oft, they take offense And come straight back to common sen.