Judge — March 20, 1915 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Curbside Comments By OREOLA W. HASKELL Aunt Betsey—Feminist Candles and Electrics MING out of prayer meeting t’other night, I met old Pa Sanders, and I walked along with him a ways, seeing he’s most awful wabbly on his underpinnings. “Betsey Burrows,'’ says he, solemn and asthmatic, ‘‘times ain’t like what they was in Corncob Center. Here you be a-rousing up the wimmen to be sur‘hing but plain homebodies. In the old day: they wasn't racing to meetings and thinking things. They didn’t do no thinking, and so was companions to their husbands. Tallow candles is better than electric lights."" “Pa Sanders,’’ says I, ‘‘of all people you had ort to be glad we've got sun- thing but the homebody brand of females these days. Where'd you be, I'd like to know, if Sallie and Lou, your two darters, was jist equal to chair dusting and pie making, ‘stead of teaching and typing. Spite of rheumatiz and asthma, you'd be a-hustling to keep ‘em fed, seeing they ain't catched onto no men matrimonially. Moreover and besides, you'd ‘a’ had to support your sister | when she was left a widder with two kids, stead of her taking strenuous to boarders. Why, mebbe you'd had to support all the lorn females of the fam- bly. Men had orter think of that, ’stead of slamming wimmen workers. But that Hubbard man—and he ain't an old Mother Hubbard kind, neither—says as this is an electric age. So ‘tis, and wimmen is up to date. They calkerlate to shed a good, shining radiance round SUFFRAGE, him, thinking ain’t it funny that what you've got under your nose is allus punk, whilst whatever is fur off in time or space shoots out rosy gleams to dazzle your ogling orbs. Suffrage Snapshots By IDA HUSTED HARPER ‘HE Nw York suffragists are hunting for some means of moving Senators Root and O'Gorman to favor their amend- ment. They might try an earthquake. c **Love is a disease,’’ says a Chicago doc- tor, ‘‘called anaphylaxis—lack of resist- 3 MH ee yA f THE OPPOSITION SWAN-SONG POPULARITE “Young women,’’ said Representative Bowdle, of Cincinnati, in the suffrage de- bate, ‘will beware of this movement, which positively destroys all feminine charm and deters young men from marriage."" (Loud applause by the sixty-seven married mem- bers from the twelve States where women vote.) o Recent census reports show that 86.7 of all persons over twenty-five marry. That is quite enough—the other 13.3 are needed to show the married what they escaped. a “Tariff reform, fiscal policies, large in- ternational relations are foreign to the consciousness of the average woman,"’ says Mrs. Dodge, president of the anti- suffragists. Maybe so, but it seems as if she might have sense enough to put a mark on a ballot opposite an eagle, a star or a moose's head. o Secretary Lane, of the Interior De- partment, says there will be no Indian man without the suffrage when he goes out of office. The surprising thing is that previous administrations have al- lowed a male of any sort to escape hav- ing it thrust upon him. fa} Alexander Graham Bell says, in his letter on eugenics, ‘‘Always remember that you are marrying a family, not a person."’ Alas, yes; and if you for- get it, you are very apt to be reminded of it afterward. fa} A National Desertion Bureau has been incorporated to try to settle all the do- mestic quarrels in the country. There won't be enough of that bureau left to ance.'’ This is merely a trick of the pro- fession to increase the number of their they begin to sputter to be snuffed out by patients, but the Chicago girls dare them to some man. Electrics is more useful and try to cure it. makes the world more cheerful. And cS you've showed most plain yourself that In the debate in the North Carolina sen- Yes, all signs point that way; but is there they help men, give ‘em more time to ate on a bill to permit women to act as anything in the zodiac to indicate when? growl and run to Al Wheety’s winter nights. notaries public, it was objected to because o So, Pa Sanders, jest you put on your specs women write a ‘‘vertical hand’? and wear The entire State of Kansas is quarantined and take another look at things, and, ’stead slit skirts. That shouldn’t disqualify them because of the foot-and-mouth disease. This of being run to the grave a-hanging onto as notaries, but it is as strong an argument is the strongest argument against woman the brakes of progress, git out and push against giving them the suffrage as one suffrage that the antis have been able to the world wagon along.’? And I left often hears. find for a long time. aconsiderable wide space, and not to give kindle a fire on a marriage altar. adim, sad light in a little spot, and when a) The wizard of Hoboken announces that the zodiacal sign of Sagittarius signifies that woman suffrage will be successful. ————=c omicbooks:com