Judge, 1915-03-13 · page 23 of 24
Judge — March 13, 1915 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **humorous anecdotes** (left side) and **advertisements** (right side), typical of Judge's satirical format. ## The Jokes: The three brief stories mock **linguistic confusion and courtroom absurdity**. The "Witness Baffles Lawyer" piece satirizes a German immigrant's difficulty with English—the lawyer repeatedly tries extracting what the factory makes, but Muller interprets each question literally, answering about his personal wages instead. It's gentle ethnic humor common to the era, poking fun at miscommunication rather than malice. The "Settled out of Court" joke reverses expectations: despite the lawyer assuring the client of a winning case, the client immediately seeks settlement—implying the lawyer's own conflicting interest story was actually damaging. The stenographer joke plays on young women's limited education and the irony that poor spelling skills don't prevent job-getting if one is attractive. ## The Advertising: The right side advertises **Hotel Chamberlin** (a Virginia resort claiming medicinal water treatments), **Romeike's Press Clipping Bureau**, and **Ranere Raspberry plants**—typical early-20th-century commercial appeals emphasizing health cures and agricultural products.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
aia ga f Stories ‘with Smiles Witness Baffles Lawyer—A young Ger- man was being tried in court, and the que tioning by the lawyers on the opposite side an. i we Now, Muller, what do you do? “Ven?” asked the German. . “When you work, of course,’ said the worl “1 know," said the lawyer; ‘‘but what a?" . “Ata bench. ; “Oh,” groaned the lawyer. ‘* Where do you work axa bench?" “Ina factory."” “What kind of a factory?"* “Brick.”” “Now, Muller, listen,"’ said the lawyer. “What do you make in that factory?"* “Eight dollars a week."* “No, no! What does the factory make?" dunno; a lot uv money, I think."* “Now, listen! What kind of goods does the factory produce?"” “Oh,"" said the German, “good goods.” “[ know; but what kind of good goods?"* “The best of what?"? “The best there is." “Of what?" “Of dose good “Your honor,” said the lawyer, “I give up.""—Philadelphia Ledger. Settled out of Court—‘Well,"’ said the lawyer, having listened carefully to his dient’s statement, ‘‘you've got about the best case I ever heard. My dear sir, you can’t help winning it, whatever court you take it to. I shall be only too glad to assist you in the matter.’” “Thanks!"" said the prospective client. “Thanks very much!"* Then, grabbing his hat, he made a speedy exit from the office. !"" exclaimed the astonished law- Are you going?"’ “Yes,"* replied the other. ‘‘I’m just going to try to settle this case out of court.'’ “But, my dear sir, why waste money? Asl've already told you, that’s one of the best cases I've ever heard."” “Maybe it said the fickle client, as he hastened down the stairs; ‘but not for me. I told you the other fellow’s story." —Philadelphia Record. Advantage in Good Looks —‘‘What did you learn at the school?"? the boss asked the fair young applicant for the stenog- rapher’s job. ig: learned,"* she replied, ‘‘that spelling 4s essential to a stenographer."* The boss chuckled. ‘Good! Now let me hear you spell es- sential."* The fair girl hesitated for the fraction of @ second, “There are three ways,"’ she replied. “Which do you prefer?"? And she got the job. — Cleveland Plain Chamberlin, one of America’s great resort hotels, mingling with your own kind of people, enjoying the cuisine of an epicure, playing golf or tennis, dancing, walking, motoring, sea-bathing; watching the picturesque life at one of the country’s largest Army Posts, and fascinating, ever-changing scenes on the Waters of Hampton Roads. These are a few of the delights you experience when you come to Old Point Comfort—to Hotel Chamberlin—to take the Treatments and Baths under skilled medical direction, and to drink the curative waters. Nowhere else in America can you take “The Cure” under such perfect conditions, Our Treatments and Baths are just as successful, just as scientifically administered as at Europe’s noted Spas. The famous Chamberlin Alkaline Saline Water, flowing always from a depth of goo feet, is highly Radio-active and has proven notably successful in those ailments due to uric acid. I will be glad to send you our book “Cured,” telling of many persons who have experienced the delights of get- ting well at Hotel Chamberlin. Other mr books on our Treatments, the Hotel, the Climate and the Medicinal Water will be sent, if you wish these, too. Address: Geo. F. Adams, Manager, Box 514, Fortress Monroe, Va. I IVING luxuriously at Hotel k which may appear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be “up to date.” Every newspaper and periodical of importance in the United States and Europe is searched. Terms. rats $5.00 for 100 notices, Henny RomeiKe, 106-110 Seventh ASSOCIATED AUT STUDIOS, 2126 Flatiron Bids. Avenue, New York. Oui, Ws Bey Our | ROMEIKE’ S Siss07.scineentue covne Students’ R ANERETrieTrue Everbearing R ASPBERRY Bears the first year, ripens in North- ern New York June 10th, and continues to produce quantities of bright crimson, luscious berries every day all summer until frosts, Rich, sugary, with fall raspberry favor; firm texture, keep in > goo! condition long after pickin Oct. 24, 1914, growers shipping to Chieago were getting 75c. per quart. Rugged con ion. | Grows everywhere. Yield fas Righvas 8800 per acre. A renall'patch © x sure source of income and supply of rich sugary berries from June till November. Our 191$ Catalog and Planting Guide, pref tlastrated, ludes Nut Culture, Fruits, Reser, Shrubs, Bere reems, 0. FREE. GLEN 'BROS.inc., Gienwoed Narsery, 1129 Mala St., Rochester. A. ¥. | comicbooks.com