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Judge, 1915-03-13 · page 20 of 24

Judge — March 13, 1915 — page 20: what you’re looking at

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Judge — March 13, 1915 — page 20: Judge, 1915-03-13

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertisements and humor pieces** rather than political cartoons. The main content consists of: 1. **Advertisements** for pianos, patent services, art studies, goose-feather pillows, Evans' Ale, Absorbine liniment, and a hotel—typical early 20th-century magazine ads. 2. **"With The College Wits"** section—a collection of jokes from college humor magazines (Penn State Froth, Michigan Gargoyle, Yale Record, U.S. Military Academy Log). These include: - A physics joke about freshman hats and vacuum pressure - A joke about stealing a coat from a restaurant - A golf joke about a hen creating a "stymie" - A satirical "Decalogue for Fussers" (young men courting women), mocking affected fashion and behavior among college men pursuing dates The "Fussers" piece is the closest to social satire—it ridicules pretentious young men who adopt exaggerated mannerisms, fancy clothes, and affected speech to impress women. No major political references are visible on this page.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PIANOS—PLAYER PIANOS Fitlory = Home 00 BY MY PLAN of selling direct from factory to home, Tecan save you | | from 8110 to $200 on my celebrated Evans Artist Model Pianos. Two to Four Years to Pay eekly, monthly, qua: Ale to stimulate the sluggish organs to healthful activity and infuse the genial glow of health into every nerve, mus dle and Gbre of the body. Restasrants, Cabs. Saloons and Dealers, © HO RVASE & SONS, (Estab, HUDSON, SY, Valuable Down Cushion GIVEN It's made of linest quality white goose down. You get it F ith each pair of our genuine Southern live goose feather pillows. After 60 days’ use, if Zou, feel their luxuriously restful. jealth giving comfort isn't a necessity and worth double their cost we take them back, paying all postage. You'll enjoy our interesting folderillustrating nine grades of beautiful pillows. Just a line will bring it by return mail. LIVE GOOSE FEATHER CO., Dept. G., Statesville, N.C. JART STUDIES EXQUISITE DEN PICTURES FROM LIFE nuine Photos of living models in =. Classy Work for art lovers. 3 Se; 6 Se, with 61878 jer ‘for & for 81 tra for sealed BACK IP NOT AS REPRESENTED. KING CO., 6013 J. W., ANDOVER, OHIO WANTED—AN IDEA! WHO CAN THINK OF SOME simple thing to patent? Protect your ideas, they may bring you wealth. Write for “Needed Inventions" and “How to Get Your Patent and Your Money.” Randoph & Co, Patent Attorneys. Dept. 129. Washington, D. C. With The College Wits Scientific—She—I don’t see how those freshmen can keep their little caps on their heads. It—Vacuum pressure.—Penn State Froth. A Larcenous Suggestion—Jinkins—Let's drop in at this restaurant. Jenkins—We haven't got money enough to go in there! Jinkins—Yes, I know. But I need a new overcoat.—Michigan Gargoyle. A hen sat on a putting green, Then ambled slowly by me; And when I tried to make my put— I found she'd laid a stymie! —Yale Record. Decalogue for Fussers 1, Thou shalt devote thyself to a study of the quirks and twists, the hesitates and slides of the newest of new dances. 2. Thou shalt adorn thyself with a suit of Jacob’s best, sprinkled with much gold lace. Yea, and silk gloves shalt thou wear, and a cap of doggiest fashion. 3. Thy hair shall be parted in the very middle of thy cranium, well sleeked and with just a touch of frou-frou. 4. Sweet words and honeyed compliments shalt thou use, and abhor the crudeness of Academy slang. 5. One cup, three macaroons and one cigarette shalt thou juggle with one hand and wave the other languidly as thou speakest. 6. Thou shalt be serious and imprese with young girls, saucy and impudent with old lad and just a bit snobbish with thy classmate: 7. Thou shalt be bold, but not too bold, keep a sensitive hand on the tiller and never lose headway when she comes about into a new mood. 8. Beware the little broken laugh that spoils a kiss, keep a wary eye on the stage setting and be sure thou lackest not ardor. 9. And, above all, as the Social Aides in- sist, be ‘‘precious.''—U. S. Military Acad- emy Log. High Finance—Dead beat—Got change for a dollar? Easy one (fishes out two haives)—Yep. Dead beat—Loan me a half.—Penn State Froth, the limbs that are sti inflammati. cone Veins, w to the appl e, Jt. For Sprains Lame Muscles Absorbine, Jr., brings quick f. Keep always at nd for instant use. Athletes use Absorbine, Jr., for muscle that abrasion that iid lame from oversee AbsorbineJ: THE ANTISEPTIC LiINIMENT When applied to cuts, bruises and sores, it kills the Hy clean and pro. h It atlays pai promptly. Swollen glands, painful vot sand bursal enlarements yield read.]y s It Combines Efficiency with Safety Onis a few dropsof Atwartine, Jr, are st deny A Liberal Trial Bottle W. F. Young, P.D. RESTAURANT OF Marie Antoinette Broadway, 66th and 67th Streets NEW YORK CITY ITUATED in the most convenient location in town, Modern in every detail, absolutely fireproof, within ten minutes of the leading de partment stores, shops and tl to Pennsylva Rooms, with Running Water, $1.50 Per Day Upward atres, Convenient ia and Grand Central Depots, Rooms, with Bath, $2.00 Per Day Upward. Suites, $4.00 Per Day Upward. UNUSUAL EXCELLENCE. H. STANLEY GREEN, Manager I will send my 25¢ Book For Strong Arms we, for 10c in stamps or coin Inertrated sich twenty tat-race WOMEN ae PROF. ANTHONY BARKER 1040 Barker Bailding, 110 West 42nd St., New Tet & folk Boat pate." Mustrated Gi For Zed IGARS “MADE AT KEY WEST comicbooks.com