Judge, 1915-02-27 · page 12 of 24
Judge — February 27, 1915 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains multiple short satirical pieces mocking early 20th-century American social pretensions and absurdities. **"The Dream—After the Movies"** (top) depicts an artist and his model discussing modernism's rejection of classical ideals. The satire targets intellectuals who abandon traditional art for fashionable "new" movements (referencing Cubism, visible in the "Cubist bust"), while the woman reduces herself to domestic work—suggesting that pseudo-artistic modernism produces hollow results. The remaining pieces are brief comedic vignettes: - **"One Way Only"**: Mocks cheap people who can't afford return travel - **"The Provident Duffer"**: Absurdist humor about using fish balls as golf practice - **"Very Dear"**: A romantic poem about indulging a woman's expensive dress purchases - **"What She Looked Like"**: Mean-spirited joke about an unattractive woman Together, these pieces satirize vanity, artistic pretension, financial anxiety, and gender relations in the post-WWI era, using sharp wit typical of *Judge*'s humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
admit that I am no longer sylphlike. And you no longer affect the classics."* “The class are dead. Or rather the classic manner is dead, The classics may come back in the new manner. But the single conception no longer obtains in art. The figure or the picture must suggest ideas that relate."* “Then I can never pose again for you?" “You would pose again? For what?"" “Yes, before I finally de- vote myself ta the art of which the kitchen range is the medium. Have I not a figure for Minerva?"’ Gundan,puffed upon his pipe, but it was out. In his enthusiasm he didn’t note the detail. ‘‘An idea!"’ he cried. ‘I shall revive the classi in the new manner! Minerva you shall be!"" **But is not Minerva too complex in sug- gestion for the new school?"’ “There lies the achievement, my dea T My Minerva—you—shall sug; poetry, the arts and sciences, the domestic vocations !"" **The domestic surely. But one question. I was about to ask it at first. The model with whom you have been working of late is a very handsome woman. Oh, I have observed her, coming and going!"* ‘Jealousy? “Perhaps. Does she look like that to THE DREAM—AFTER THE MOVIES you?" Thais pointed at a Cubist bust on a pedestal. “Exactly, my dear, Exactly."’ “Then it is not jealousy." Thais rose and kissed Gundan. ‘*Would you like a steak d'agneau de serre, Chateaubriand, for luncheon?"" His Preference “T may hurt your feelings, but Iam go- ing to tell you the plain truth, and" “‘Good-day !"" interrupted J. Fuller Gloom. “'T never listen to anything but One Way Only Wy ALWAYS pay as I go,"’ remarked the careful individual. “Lots of fellows do that who don’t save enough to pay their way back,’’ added the mere man. The Provident Duffer Patron—I want some fish balls. Dealer—What for? Patron—I\'m going out golfing, and I want them to drive at the water hazards. compliments.”* Very Dear Wear the dresses you will; You are dear in them all. Though they torture you, still Wear the dresses you will! Whatever the bill, It is no use to brawl— Wear the dresses you will! You are dear in them all! What She Looked Like “Did you see that hussy who sued our son for ‘breach of promise?" “T did." “What did she look like?"” **She looked to me like a son- kist lemon."" Don't shoot the war corre- spondent. He is doing his best. ceries. Mr. Golitely—I gave you that twenty dollars to spend on gro- You can’t eat that hat! Mri, GolitelyeeNo! but { can feast my eyes on it!