Judge — February 20, 1915 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Curbside Comments By OREOLA W. HASKELL Wimmen’s Needs ISTERDAY Sairy Gore run in fur the loan of a dress pattern. “‘Betsey,’’ says she, ‘‘ef you kin trust a man fur food 'n’ shelter 'n’ cle it beats me why you can't trust him to vote fur you."" “*Well,"’ says I, ‘‘the way I figger it out is this: Food 'n’ cloes'n' a roof is what all humans has to have, ’n’ it don't over- strain the male intellect none to git a good clutch on that ideer. Yep, ‘n’ the same brain cells kin go further ‘n’ realize a fe- male's got to have some fun occasional— like a sociable or a sewing bee ora talk on picters—something pale ‘'n" water-to-winey compared to male go- ings-on. But wimmen has got other needs, ‘n’ when it comes to them, men is perfect numskulls. Oh, I ain't running the men down none. I'm simply saying they don’t unnerstand wimmen’s natures, 'n’ so they can’t unnerstand their needs, jest as us wimmen don’t really unnerstand men. Fur fur every man as throws his hands up in disgust 'n’ yells, ‘Jest like a woman!’ there's three or four fe- males in the world crying, ‘Ain't it like a man—ain't it?’ Nope; men ‘n’ wimmen ain't got strong ‘nough mental searchlights to turn on each other yit. But you needn't take my word fur saying men finds wimmen's natures ‘n’ needs worse’n Greek. Here's a piece by a German perfesser —Hans Gross—'n’ he gives the hull thing dead away. He's one of them fellars allus studying the souls 'n’ minds of the wicked, 'n' he says, ‘One of the most difficult tasks of the criminalist engaged in psychological investigation is the judgment of woman.’ Why? ‘Cause ‘no man can put himself in her place. The greatest mis- takes in criminal law were made where the conclusions would have been all correct if the woman had been a man.” ‘N’ now I ask you, Sairy Gore, if smart fellars like him are stumped by wimmen, do you think the averidge voter or the averidge polerticia is a-going to do any better? Land s no! We gotter hand the job over to wim- men theirselves 'n’ let ‘em vote, know what they they’ve found they want."* Makes It Even HE MEN in New York are said to be very angry because they cannot enter the tea-rooms of the big hétels unless ac- companied by a lady, but they should re- member that not long ago women could not get into the hotels themselves unless accom. panied by a man. —Ma Husted Harper. Man in the Making pur daughter is so amiable that she will surely make a good wife. ‘es, and a bad husband." All Arranged “'T never see you pay the slightest atten- tion to your children," declared grandma, NONEeST CONVC TiOn THE OSTRICH-MINDED VOTER who had come on a visit. ‘Don't you love your children *“*Now, don’t be old-fashioned, ma,"* urged the fashionable wife. ‘Their gov- erness is employed to do that."’ Too Much “Why did Wombat leave home? “His wife wanted her poodle to have a house party for its canine friends."” Getting in Line At the next general election to be held in the States of West Virginia and New Jersey a constitutional amendment providing for woman suffrage will be submitted to the voters, A Spade’s a Spade By ETHEL 1. PEYSER The Plumber Son é “DAY, my son, you've come of age, The vote is in your hand, And voting is the hardest thing To do in this great land. “Of all the burdens in the world, This is by far the worst And if you think you e to vote, Give up your plumbing first. “One cannot plumb and vote, my son; It is too much to ask. So ponder very carefully And choose your proper task.’* “Oh, father, Iam young and strong; I choose to vote and work! T'll show you that it can be done, And nothing will I shirk."’ “Ah, well,"" his sire made reply, “Your youth will help you—rather; Though you may plumb and vote, my son, You'll never be a father!"" Losses and Losses She (emerging from a cafe)—Oh, dear, I've lost my muff and bag and handkerchief! He—Where do you think you could have lost them? She—lIn the cafe, of course! He—Well, dear, think how much better than losing your reputation there! Here and There There is more kicking done with the tongue than with the foot. Swimming, like marriage, is hard to take up after you are twenty-one. A lonesome woman makes a_ perilous friend. o He that gets is another way of saying he that gi Seeing the doctor is often a method for getting a vacation. Inconsistencies of Character “They say Primme turned out to be ter- ribly untrue to his wife."* “And he such a see-America-first advo- cate!""