Judge, 1915-02-13 · page 6 of 24
Judge — February 13, 1915 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of satirical content: **Top cartoon** titled "As It Might Have Been (Washington's Birthday)" appears to depict a Revolutionary War scene, likely satirizing historical romanticism or patriotic mythology around the founding era. **Main story** is a meta-commentary on popular fiction. A character named Violet, a fictional heroine, lectures the narrator (a writer) about what readers want: traditional romance with marriage endings, not intellectual "character studies." The satire targets both: (1) readers' predictable tastes for sentimental romance over substance, and (2) writers who pander to these preferences. The irony is that Violet herself—real, defiant, refusing to perform emotions—teaches genuine romance better than any fictional character. **"Back at Mother"** is a brief humorous anecdote about a child who avoids embarrassment by hiding an unfashionable homemade hat. **"A Bird"** is a wordplay joke defining someone as "a bird" through animal-related insults (chicken-hearted, pigeon-toed, owl-like, etc.). The page primarily satirizes popular taste in literature and social pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Vative—There’s a good garage in the next village, mister. Shall I tow ye? he wants!" Violet exclaimed, flinging her cigarette into the grate. “IT won't be the heroine in anything but the old-style, course-of-true- love, smiles-and-tears, orange-flowers-and-lace, bi -and-cheese- and-kisses, end-all-right love story. And t final." “But why not?"' I demanded. ‘‘Love is all right, of course, but there must be a change of subject at times.*’ ‘*Why not? Because I want readers to love me and to read of my beauty and my costumes and to see how sweet I am when I'm in love and all that! I want young, romantic readers—not college professors and psychology folks “They won't find out’’—said I, but she wouldn't listen. **Rubbish! They read the end first, and if I don’t marry, that isall they read. But, by the way, how did you get my gowns right?”’ ‘Why,’ I confessed, with some hesitation, *‘there is a young woman who"’, Violet smiled on me with returning kindness. “My dear boy! No wonder you don’t write love stories! you are— Has she accepted you yet?"* “But I haven't asked her. Why, You see, I am'’—— MIGHT HAVE BEEN (WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY). “Well, drop this foolish character study and go ask— is her name?"’ “Why, is—Violet,"* I admitted. “‘T thought so. Go ask her, right away to-morrow; marry her, and maybe then you will know something about how a heroine ought to be served up to the public. Until then, I for one will not play dummy for you!"* “I can put you into a story if I like!"’ I insisted defiantly. **Not so that any one will notice it!"* she replied slangily—and in a moment I was alone. : ° . . . . . . . I did my best to disprove her prophecy, but in vain, She would not assume the moods I wished, made a mock of the other charac- ters, and I wrought uselessly till I capitulated and took her advice, And the real Violet taught me the essence of romance. Back at Mother Laura was very backward about wearing to school a hat which her mother had fashioned out of some leftovers. “Well, did the boys and girls poke fun at it as you expected?” asked the mother, when Laura returned home. **No, mamma,"’ the little one replied. hand, and no one had any idea what it was."’ What “T carried it in my A BIRD Peggie—Why do you say he is a bird ? Polly —Well, he is chicken-hearted and pigeon-toed, has the habits of an owl, likes to wear a swallow-tail coat and collars with wings, he is always acting the goose, and be is a perfect jay.