Judge — February 13, 1915 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ke Passing The Country [am longing for the country, where they still eat mush and milk, ‘And where the socks have not yet changed from wool to lustrous silk, Where the good wife still wears calico and ‘bout styles never frets, Where girls still smell of wood smoke, not talc and cigarettes. . —Cincinnati Enquirer, I'm longing for the country, where I used to have cold feet, Where the winters are a terror and the sum- mers are a treat, Where the women and the children do not fear the outdoor air, ; - And a fellows private business is no neigh- borhood affair. —Nebraska Journal. Jam longing for the country; I am longing just to be . Where I can let the whiskers grow upon the face o’ me, Where I can let my hair grow in a wild and woolly way, ; And where father does the farming and there ain’t no board to pay. —Houston Post. 1am longing for the country, where the air is always pure, Where the men are always honest and the maidens are demure, Where the weather at this season never can with comfort rhyme— Thus I never follow longing till the good old summertime. Wisdom—‘‘Is she going to marry the young man who saved her from drowning?"* “T think so." “But is she sure that he is able to sup- port her in the style to which she has been accustomed?"’ “Yes; she looked him up in Bradstreet’s before she fell in.""—Houston Post. Cheap Stuff—Nell—You say you saw her wedding gifts. How was her silver marked? Bell—From the looks of it, I should say it was marked down.—Boston Transcript. Mollified—Attorney—How old are you, madam? Witness—Sir! Attorney—Beg your pardon! How much younger are you than the lady next door? —Philadelphia Ledger. Much More Important—‘‘I understand you are the press agent for the college girls’ play.” Yes, I'm getting out some of the stuff.’" “What you working on—the cast of char- acters?"” “Cast of characters? No, no! Nobody cares for that. Thi the list of patron- esses."'"—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Disturbing the Peace If any man in mood forlorn Should lift a public wail Like that of any auto horn, He'd surely land in jail. — Washington Star. Her Choice—Husband (firmly)—Under- Stand me, madam, your extravagance will have to cease sooner or later. Young wife—Well, then, we'll make it later.—Boston Transcript. £ the Mustard Business Jokes The clerk who thinks the hous without him. The salesman who has his trade person- ally anchored. The buyer who cannot be fooled. The stenographer who knows best what the old man ought to say. The creditman who ca can't do always trust his intuition, The head of the firm who sticks to the way he always did it. The customer who doesn't know what he wants, The house that won't advertise, because its goods are ‘‘different.''—Printer’s Ink. Relieved—Mr. Manley—Well, my dear, I've had my life insured for five thousand dollars. Mrs. Manley—How very sensible of you! Now I sha'n't have to keep telling you to be so careful every place you go.—Pathfinder. Hard Luck—'‘My boy has had bad luck all through college."* “How's that?’" “*He never gets over his baseball injuries soon enough to make the football team.’’— Philadelphia Bulletin, Swell Dog—‘‘ My wife’s dog has a habit of barking at me every time I come home,"’ said one husband. “You're lucky," replied the other. ‘‘Mine doesn't notice me that much.’'—Washing- ton Star. A New Version—‘‘ What's that guy doing with that camera? He's been standing on er all day.’’ taking a motion picture of that messenger boy.""—New York Post. Favored—*Does your wife neglect her home in making speeches?"” ‘‘Not a bit of it,’’ replied Mr. Meekton. “*She always lets me hear the speeches first.’’— Washington Star. Any Real Way—Grateful patient—Doctor, how can I ever repay you for your kindness to me? Doctor—Doesn't matter, old man. Check, money order or cash.—Boston Transcript. Strictly Modern—Kind stranger—How old is your baby brother, little girl? Little girl—He’s a this year's model.— Chicago News. Directed—'‘ Will you please tell me where I can see the candelabra?"* “All canned goods is on the next floor,’? replied the new clerk.—Harper’s Magazine. Modern—Bix—By the way, who is, or rather was, the god of war? Dix—I forgotten the duffer’s name, but I think it was Ananias.—/ndianapolis Journal. Hints at Salesmanship Don’t deal in woe or tearfulness. Most folks have a supply Of wares like these, and cheerfulness Is what they want to buy. So deal in joy and truthfulness. Put on a smiling phiz, And you'll preserve your youthfulness And do a lot of biz. —Kansas City Journal, April 13, 1820 We celebrated Dan's birthday this evening, gathered about the round table and pledged him many a toast in g Old Overholt Rye “Same for 100 years” i Celebrations galore have been made memorable by toasts de- livered with this choice delight- 3 ful rye. Old Overholt is pure, mellow, delicious, with a de- lightful boquet. Aged in charred oak bar- rels, bottled in bond. A OVERHOLT & CO, Pittsburgh, Pa. Pears’ cleanses thoroughly, soothing and freshening the skin Pears’ is pure soap of gentle character. Sold everywhere. “Home of the Tarpon’? Hotel Punta Gorda PUNTA GORDA, FLORIDA One of the Largest Florida Resorts Opens December 31 for the winter under new management. Situated at the head of Charlotte Harbor on the West Gulf Coast, in an ideal park, containing tropical trees and plants. is 60 miles from Tampa and has an perature of 70 degrees, imate in Florida, All kinds of Hunting, Horseback Riding, ishing. et and Wil Rates on application W. J. PALMER, Proprietor Formerly of the Plant System of Hotels comicbooks.com