Judge, 1915-02-06 · page 8 of 24
Judge — February 6, 1915 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Starting Him Right"** satirizes small-town gossip and busybodies. A village busybody has deliberately spread false, damaging rumors about an incoming neighbor (C.C. Spindler) — claiming he's a criminal, polygamist, and arsonist. When confronted with the truth by an actual neighbor, he admits he fabricated the stories as "artistic effect" to give the town "sufficient data" for gossip. The joke mocks how small communities circulate rumors without verification, and how people like the chairman feel entitled to meddle in others' affairs while spreading misinformation. **"When Women Vote—The Problem Solved"** references women's suffrage (a contemporary political debate). The chaotic street scene with crowds and voting booths appears to satirize concerns about female voters. The implication seems to be that women voting would create chaos or be problematic — reflecting anti-suffrage attitudes common when this was published. The page also includes humorous advice columns and short comedic pieces typical of Judge magazine's satirical format.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Starting Him Right «J OOK here, squire !? indignantly began the chairman of the vil- lage society for the a ysis and adjustment of other people's business, “What in fire did you mean by telling me all that outrageous stuff about your nephew, C, C. Spindler, who is go- ing to move here from the western part of the State next week? You 1 that one of his in- itials stands for ‘Coper- nicus’ and the other for ‘Champollion,” which you claimed was the name of an extinct ancestor who was with Cap'n Kidd as he sailed. **You also told me that Mr. Spindler has five wives and nineteen children, and beats ‘em all at frequent intervals, and that he was once a candidate for the Legislature and twice narrowly aped being indicted by the grand jury. You stated that he couldn't account for his whereabouts on the night that the bank in his town was robbed, and that at least three different houses he had occupied were burned in a very mysterious way. “Of course I felt it my duty to look into the matter, and I find that you deliberately deceived me. I met a man who has lived near Mr. Spindler for years, and he told me that there was no truth to any of them yarns. In the first place, the initials of your nephew's name stand for ‘Charge, Chester’—er—er—I mean, ‘Charles Chester."| He has never had but one wife and is still devoted to her, and the neighbor says that their three children NATE ESS Mr. Fattums—I don't know what profession my son should tollow. careless, and indifferent to consequences. Mrs. de Vompus—Make him a taxicab driver, WHEN WOMEN VOTE—THE PROBLEM SOLVED HIS VOCATION He's reckless, are fat, happy and a pleasure to look upon, and that Mr. Spindler himself has never been in any sort of trouble in his life, but has always behaved himself in a most admirable and monotonous fashion."" Well, Jasper,"* replied the old codger, acutely aware that several persons in this town, not knowing Charles Chester's record, would feel bound to. invent one for him, I determined to e time by the forelock and supply them with sufficient data, of a sort, to start off on. But in my zeal for an artistic effect I may have overdone it slightly.’" L-o-v-e:_ A Romance of Four Letters HE SENT her a letter, a passion-filled letter, “T'll tell you: Be: P. Morgan. That promised her joy for the rest of her life; She sent hima letter, a soul-throbbing letter, Accepting his offer, and soon was his wife. SIX MONTHS LATER: He sent her a letter, a drummer's night letter, To pack? She sent him a letter, a letter, To say she'd gone home and was not coming back. —Prederick Moron, Worth Seeing Tenderfoot—Whaddye diggin’ the big hole for? Trapper—Wild cats. Tenderfoot—By gravy, I've often heard of = wild-cat mines, but this is the first time I ‘Where's the razor I told you to ‘two cents due" ever saw one!