Judge — January 30, 1915 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stories <-with Smiles’ Disappears Quickly —‘‘Here is a good Scottish story,”’ remarked an actor the other day. And it is a true one, too, , “While I was having a motor trip in Scotland one summer, | stopped at a farm- house foracup of milk. The view from the house was a very beautiful one, and as [stood drinking the milk and gazing about me, I said, iperb place to live!" * replied the farmer, ‘it richt; but hoo ad ye lak it, mon, to hae to walk fufteen mile ilka time ye wanted a bit glass o’ whuskey?" “Oh, well,” said I, ‘why don’t you get a gallon of whiskey and keep it in the house?’ “He shook his head vehemently. “+Whuskey,” he replied, ‘won't keep!" * =Green Book Magazine. Was Telling It—Garrulous Mary Brown, black and buxom, was on the witness-stand in a Louisville court. “And when Ah sees dat stres de man, Ah says, ‘Oh, Lawdie, dat motoh- man suah wuz not watchin’ his’ ''—— “T object," interrupted the counsel for the defendant. “Objection sustained,’* said the court. “Mary, just tell what happened."’ “And when Ah sees dat cyah strike de ig s Mary, resuming the thread of her story, ‘Ah sez to mahse The court rapped with his gavel. he said, ‘*I told you to tell just what hap- pened, not what you said to yourself or thought. Now do as I tell you to do."" “Judge,’’ bemoaned Mary, ‘‘I cain’t do what you tell me to do. Ah's donn swohn to tell de truf.""—Louisville Times. pt cyah strike The Difficulty—The home life of the Smiths was not always one of roses and sweet singing. One afternoon the elder Smith, on calling at his son’s home, found his daughter-in-law in tears, and on as! why, was told the usual story. “John,"’ sternly remarked the elder Smith, some time later, ‘why are you al- ways quarreling with your wife? “Because,"’ was the prompt response of son John, **she is always arguing with me."* “I see,"’ returned father. ‘*You make the mistake of getting angry. Why don’t you explain to her in a calm, gentle tone of voice wherein she is wrong?” “That's just the trouble,” John, with a prolonged sigh. **She wrong."'—Philadelphia Telegraph. ng vered never Judge is Forging Ahead (From The Hookseller, Newsdealer and Stationer) Junce is getting more and more amusing, and its illustrations are very pertinent. The short stories, wittic s and jokes are full of real humor. The Christmas Number was a capital one, live with the spirit of the ‘season. A teaspoonful of Ab makes nn sine «Hitters with » Sete in stames CW, AbUOtE A Ca. Raltin Grape Fruit matt Md. [AD¥.) Be Happy! OW, more than ever, Mark Twain ; proves a blessing to you. Let in the sunshine of Mark Twain’s radiant humor! Revel in the hearty and robust fun of the great story-teller. Next to sunshine and fresh air, Mark Twain has done more for the welfare of mankind than any other agency. His is the antidote par excellence for the blues, all species of grouch, melan- choly, and general debility of the intellect. You want Mark Twain’s Collected Writ- ings now more than ever, and here is your opportunity. You may still obtain the Author’s National Edition of MARK TWAIN PRICE Over a million copies of this edition have been sold. ery state, every city, practically every hamlet, con- tains a purchaser, Their names would make a book-lover’s “Who's Who,” because every type of reader is here represented. This edition will be withdrawn from the market, for ar- rangements are now under way for a more expensive set. ‘The set is in twenty-five volumes, each measuring 5x 71-2 inches, They are carefully printed on excel- lent paper and bound in a handsome red crepe cloth, have titles in gold, decorative design on shelf-back, a medallion of the great author on the cover, head-bands and title-pages in two colors. “Harper's Magazine” or “The North American Re- view” is included at this special price. There's a coupon below awaiting your signature to bring the books THE HARPER WAY. Buying these books THE HARPER WAY is like this—We send the books at our expense. You examine them five days —if then you do not like the books, you send them back to us “collect.” We are making it possible for any one to be bright and cheery. Send no money, You have a year within which to pay for the twenty-five volumes. Sign the coupon below for “Your Mark Twain.” ‘Tomorrow may be too late! twenty-hve volumes, cloth binding, under the terms of your offer, - It is understood in fu Signature ...ceeee Send books to, “7 ‘The Mate’s Shadow Froze to the Deck “He was not only a great humor- ist, but a great philosopher, and his writings form one of the assets in America’s contributions to the world of achievement, of which we have a right asa nation to be gen- uinely proud.” President Woodrow Wilson “All the world knows that in Mark ‘Twain it has lost a delight- ful humorist, a man able to inter- pret human life with a flavor all his own: but only those who had the privilege of knowing him person- ally can feel to the full the loss of a man of high and lovely character, afriend quick to excite and give affection; a citizen of the world who loved every wholesome adven- ture of the mind or heart; an American who spoke much of the spirit of America in speaking’ his native thoughts.”” “Mark Twain gave pleasure real intellectual enjoyment — to millions, and his works will con- tinue to give such pleasure to mil. liens yet tocome. He never wrote a line that a father could not read to a daughter.” WARK ARK ARK ARE MARR ARK ARK (ARK WAIN SAIN, SAIN kQIN| SAIN, SAIN, SAIN’ BAIN HARPER @ BROTHERS, Franklin Square, New York City Please send me in THE HARPER WAY, charges prepaid. a set of MARK . TWAIN'S WORKS nd enter my name asa subscriber for one year to HanrEn's MAGAZINE } T'may retain the ect for five days, and at the expiration of that time if I do not care for the books T will return them at your expense and you will cancel the eub- Scription to the MAacazine. © If I keep the books I will remit $2.00 a month until the full price of the and the MAGAZINE, $25.09, has been paid, of within thirty days will send you $23.75 a8 payment A Portfolio describing our Standard Sets will be sent upon request From “Following the Equator” Theodore Roosevelt William Howard Taft jadge 1.39 comicbooks.com