Judge — January 16, 1915 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DIARY February 2, 1890 Alargecoaching partycame up from town today and stopped at the Inn for an excellent meal and the ever- popular Old Overholt Rye “Same for 100 years Nowadays, in this age of motoring, Old Overholt is still the popular choice. Men appreciateitsuniformpurity, 4 quality and flavor. Aged in the wood, bottledin 4 bond. A. OVERHOLT & CO. Pittsburgh, Pa, “The pale complexion of true love” assumes a warmer tint by the use of Pears’ Soap. Soll all over the globe. OF BRAINS Cotes AGAR “MADE AT KEY WwESsST.— Hotel Marie Antoinette Broadway, 66th and 67th Streets NEW YORK CITY ITUATED in the most convenient location in town. Modern in every detail, absolutely fireproof, within ten minutes’ of the leading de- partment stores, shops and theatres. Convenient to Pennsylvania and Grand Centre! Depots. Rooms, with Ranaing Water, $1.50 Per Day Upward. Bath, $2.00 Per Day Upward. $4.00 Per Day Upward. RESTAURANT OF UNUSUAL EXCE H. STANLEY GREEN, Manager Stories With Smiles Breaking a ‘‘Hoodoo'’—Although this is considered an enlightened age, the ranks of those who believe in pet superstitions are pretty considerable still. This is especially true of the imagined hoodoo that clings to Friday, the thirteenth. A man walked into a jewelry store on the recent Friday, the thirteenth, and deposited a heavy gold wedding ring on the showcase. ‘‘How much for this?'’ he asked the jeweler. “*Give you a dollar,’’ was the answer, after an examination of the ring. You're on,’ said the man, ‘‘on condi- tion you lend me your hammer for a min- ute or two,"" The hammer fell mercilessly on the gold band, reducing it to junk. After receiving the dollar note from the jeweler, the vandal lit a match and the note was soon reduced to smoke and ashes. The amazement of the jeweler was dissi- pated by the explanation of the customer that he had been married on Friday, the thirteenth, just thirteen years ago. “T think I have closed the chapter now, though,’’ he announced.—Columbus Dis- patch. A Horrified Mother—A Louisville woman, who is somewhat of a crank on hygiene and who brings up her small daughter according to the latest methods, took the child on a day train to a nearby little town. The mother sighed as she glanced at the dusty velvet seat and cloudy windows. The young- ster, however, folded her manicured fingers in her white pique lap and apparently tried to absorb as little dirt as possible. Look- ing up from her magazine, the immaculate parent was horrified to find the small daugh- ter’s jaws working violently. “‘What have you in your mouth?’’ she demanded at once. “*Gum,"’ said the child. “Where did you get mother. The child pointed to a clean, round spot on the grimy windowsill. ‘There,’ she said. — Louisville Times. it?’’ gasped the Technicalities—A sailor was called into the witness box to give evidence. ‘‘Well, sir,’’ said the lawyer, ‘‘do you know the plaintiff and defendant?"’ “*T don’t know the drift of them words,’’ answered the sailor. “What! Not know the meaning of ‘plaintiff’ and ‘defendant’?"’ continued the lawyer. ‘‘A pretty fellow you to come here a witness! Can you tell me where on board the ship it was this man struck the other?"" “*Abaft the binnacle,"’ said the sailor. ““Abaft the binnacte,"’ said the lawyer. ‘What do you mean by that?"’ “A pretty fellbw you,’’ responded the sailor, ‘‘to come here as a lawyer, and don't know what ‘abaft the binnacle’ means!"'—Case and Comment. Experience —‘‘Experience is a great teacher."’ “Isn't it? There's Brown's case.’" What about Brown?’’ “He married a wido' “T know.”” “*Well, Brown had an idea that he was a handy man around the house. About the second week after his marriage, him with a monkey wrench oe we Ba fix some of the water pipes.’” **What did she do?"’ “She stopped him."” “*Why?’" “*She said her first husband had the no. tion that he was a plumber, and she had al the trouble from that source that the wanted."'—Detroit Free Press. A Mere Piker—The weather forecaster had crossed the Styx and was swelling around among the other shades, telling what a smart man he was on earth, At last a venerable shade approached the weather forecaster and said, “Why do you wear all those medals?" “Twas the champion weather forecaster while I was on earth,"” was the reply, “'It is strange that I never got any med. als,’’ mused the venerable shade. “‘Why?"? asked the weather forecaster, **Who are you?"’ | “Tam Noah," replied the venerable shade.—Cincinnati Enquirer. Not Her Fault—A little girl, about six years old, was visiting friends, and duriag the course of the conversation one of then remarked, “‘T hear you have a new little sister, “*Yes,"’ answered the little girl two weeks old."" “Did you want it to be a litte girl” asked the friend. “No. I wanted it to be a boy,” she re. plied; ‘*but it came while I was at school.” —New York Globe. Part of the Time—‘‘Do you think ony of me?’’ murmured the bride. ‘‘Tell me that you think only of me!’’ “It's this way,"’ explained the groom **Now and then I have to think of the far- nace, my dear.’’—Louisville Courier-Jour nal. John McGlynn, Wit John McGlynn, of Troy, N. Y., presidest of the New York Hotel Association, is note for his witty stories. Here are a few of bis epigrammatic conclusions: **A sunken garden is one in which yo sink a lot of money.”” “If ‘an apple a day will keep the doctor away,’ why stop there? An onion a day will keep everybody away."’ “A pessimist is a man who pulls dom the blinds and then complains of how dat it is.”” ‘‘The other day several men started & ttle the war in my barroom. One mz ed he was neutral. ‘I don’t care wh licks the Kaiser,’ he said.’” “Over in Germany when a general dos something brave they give him the In Cross. In Mexico when a general performs a great service they give him the double cross."* **Local option is to decide who shall sil liquor—the drug store or the saloon."” “Ever hear of the man with the cold? | His landlady believes in feeding a cold, © she made him a big German pancake. ‘TH | that,” she said. Soon after she went bac in the room. ‘I see you have eaten it,’ said. He yelped, ‘Eaten it!’ he shoutel *No; I'm wearing it on my chest.’"”