Judge, 1914-12-26 · page 21 of 25
Judge — December 26, 1914 — page 21: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three humorous anecdotes typical of Judge magazine's satirical humor: **"Boffit's Luck"** mocks the irony of persistence meeting disaster. A man chases his gold watch through the air, down a 118-story building, and across a city—only to recover it completely stopped, rendering his entire exhausting pursuit meaningless. The joke satirizes obsessive determination that achieves nothing. **"The Connoisseur"** is a brief visual joke about pretense. A man praises another's cheap three-dollar hat as "most becoming," illustrating false flattery and social hypocrisy in polite conversation. **"Peace Meeting"** satirizes fraternal lodge meetings and their mock-serious ceremonies. When police arrest lodge members for fighting at a "peace pipe meeting," members' reluctance to testify and their use of absurd titles ("Noble Lord of Universal Peace") for someone who hit others with a "loving cup" mocks the pomposity and contradiction of such organizations. The page also contains period advertisements for Cascade whiskey and a drawing-instruction school.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Stories With Smiles Boffit’s Luck—As Higglesby Boffit craned his neck to watch the ascending balloon, the anchor of the rising gas bag swung by his vest pocket, neatly extracted his gold watch and bore it aloft, dan- gling by its chain and banging against trees, church spires and other objects of prominence “Drop ‘at!’’ yelled Higglesby Boffit, and gave chase. Through woods and meadows, up hills and down many dales he followed the balloon, shouting with rage every time the distant tinkle of his watch smashing against an obstruction reached his ears. Finally, as the balloon was passing over Skrankas City, Boffit gave a glad shout, for his watch had become detached and was fall- ing. Curses! It landed on the roof of the Dingbat Building, 118 stories above the ground. From down below Boffit could hear the musical crash as the watch hit the hard cement of the roof. Obtaining a permit from the superintendent, Boffit, not taking —. time to wait for an elevator, rushed up the 118 flights of steps and out on the roof. There lay his watch, close by a chimney! But in his hurry Boffit inadvertently kicked it while trying to pick it up, and it slid off the edge of the roof and crashed to the pavement, e 2,335 feet below. a “Darn!” swore Higglesby Boffit, and ran down the 118 flights of steps to the street. His watch was where it had landed, near a the fireplug. Boffit picked it up and put it to his ear. . “Just my luck!’ he exclaimed testily. ‘It’s stopped !”— Louisville Times. s . y _ ° 7 i THE CONNOISSEUR “ How do you like my new hat, John 2”” “ How much did it cost 2"” “Three dollars." * Most becoming hat you ever had on.”” ¢ Peace Meeting—A riot call had been sent in, and the police had | arrested the whole lodge meeting. At the hearing, however, there { appeared to be a strange reluctance about testifying. The judge noticed that, although everybody would admit that there had been j« trouble, nobody would tell what started it. So it was that his honor pinned one conscientious man—the honorable worthy inner custodian it was—down to facts. “You say somebody started this row by hitting somebody over the head with something. Now, who hit whom with what on what oceasion?”"’ “The occasion was the annual grand peace pipe meeting of the Brotherly Love Lodge of the Heart and Heart Fraternity. We Were met to welcome”’. “Never mind. Who was the assailant?"’ “The chairman of the entertainment committee."’ “Whom did he hit?”” 1 “We call him Noble Lord of Universal Peace.”’ | “What did he hit him with?” “The loving cup."’—Philadelphia Ledger. Conscientiousness does pay — doesn’t it? The popularity of Cascade Pure Whiskey is a very good example of that truth. Pure as purity—mellow as moonlight. Original Bottling Has Old Gold Labet GEO. A. DICKEL & CO., Distillers Nasuvitte, Tenn. 1d Learn to Draw Properly We from nature; how to proceed, teach you how to draw step by step, the right way, We send you this instruction hy mail and your individual training comes under the per- sonal supervision of some of Ameri foremost illustra- tors—men of international reputation. This school has been established 11 years and has developed many first-class illustrators who are today earning good in- comes from their art. We terested, write t handle a great many students, so, if you are in- immediately for terms and_ particulars. Studio ot Pictorial Art (Ine.) Avenue ESTABLISHED 1903 172 Fifth New York comicbooks.com