Judge, 1914-12-26 · page 12 of 25
Judge — December 26, 1914 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical story-page mixes romantic comedy with social commentary typical of early 20th-century humor. The main narrative concerns **marital infidelity and double standards**: Mr. Gilkins discovers his wife kissing another man (Rimbel) but is confronted when Rimbel points out Gilkins arrived with *his* fiancée, Miss Harford. The joke satirizes how men police women's behavior while pursuing affairs themselves. Mrs. Gilkins' later comment—that she'd break her engagement if kissed "tamely"—mocks both female romantic expectations and male hypocrisy. The smaller cartoons mock common pretexts: a man blames his hoarse voice on his wife's "nagging"; a barber won't use hair tonic because it would eliminate his bald customers. **"The Delivery of the Days"** is sentimental verse about life's unpredictability, suggesting happiness depends on attitude. The advertisement promotes a "Buy a Kiss Movement" for "Freezing Hottentots"—reflecting the era's paternalistic, racialized charity messaging. The humor assumes readers appreciate sophisticated marital discord and recognize social hypocrisy.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
he took account of Rimbel’s partner. It was with some difficulty that he recognized his wife. Really, he thought, she was about the finest looking woman in the room. She was in truth a stunning fig- ure, But if her aspect surprised Gilkins, her dancing amazed him. It was grace emphasized, yet there was an abandon that disturbed him. As Rimbel came to claim Miss Harford Miss Harford disappeared as the men stood glaring at each other. Two husky bellboys, coming from different directions with a business air, seemed to bring Gil- kins and Rimbel to their senses, “I knew you could handle him all right, dear,’’ said Miss Harford to Rimbel later, as they were parting in a cozy corner for the night. And she gave him a resound- ing kiss that caused both to look about nervously. ‘‘But,’’ she added, ‘Boll “if you were to kiss me as tamely as you kissed Mrs. Gilkins, I should break our engagement.’"’ As for Gilkins, he is court- ing Mrs. Gilkins all over again. A Modern Didymus “Why don’t you try some sort of hair tonic?”’ “Twill, when there are no baldheaded barbers."’ HE KNEW “Dear me, John, I don't know what makes my voice so hoarse to-night."” ““Humph! Ido, You've been nagging all day." for a dance, Gikins started with the idea of cultivating Mrs. Gilkins; but she was dancing again, and with another young- ster. A bit rattled, Gilkins left the room for a little refreshment. As he returned, he saw Mrs. Gilkins and Rimbel disappearing up a corridor. While he stood uncertainly, Miss Harford came out of the dancing-room and gave him a significant glance. No word was spoken, but one idea seemed to be in both their minds. They followed Mrs, Gilkins and Rimbel at a discreet distance into a tropical gar- den. There they saw Rimbel kiss Mrs. Gilkins on the bare shoulder, “Huh!” cried Gilkins, leaping forward and fiercely grasping Rimbel by the col- lar, ‘What are you doing here with my wife?” Mrs, Gilkins, screaming gently, ran out. “And what are you doing here with my fiancée?’’ retorted Rimbel, as he twisted away and seized Gilkins in a grip that left him powerless, though he puffed and struggled. An egotist is nothing more than a self-centered individual with his I on the main chance. WWiCaet os “© Get right off that line, Mr. Peck! If you have any money to blow in on kisses buy them from me."* The Delivery of the Days By A. WALTER CUTTING ANUS to the doorway trundles, Vigorous, though loaded down With a dozen monthly bundles, Which may add to Time’s renown. Held in each are little wrappings, Wriggling, very much alive; They're the Days, with togs and trap- pings, Full three hundred sixty-five. Each Day's contents vary greatly: Some hold pleasure, others pain; Some will stand erect and stately, Others bend beneath a strain. Not till binding strings are broken Can we know what each portends; One may bring a loving token Or a severence from friends. None knows what the Days are holding, None can take a glance inside, Till the wrappers are unfolding, Till the strings become untied. But if happiness is visioned, It will be there all the while, If one only, joy-decisioned, Greets each morning with a smile. A man is not a naturalist just because he chases the butterfly type of girl. Ww ~ | THIS SIDE y “BUY A KISS” MOVEMENT SWELL THEI FOR THE FREEZING HOTTENTOTS , nN