Judge — December 19, 1914 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

To Make Your Friends Happy Send them a tarrel containing 10 dozen bottles of good Evans’ The beverage that carries real old-fashioned Christmas Cheer and brings out all the sen- timent and good fellowship of the season. Everybody enjoys an Evans’ Ale greeting. Nearest dealer or C. H. Evans & Sons, Hudson, N.Y. DIAMONDS ON CREDIT Let us send you any Diamond you may select fromn our caisloe 90 you. may compere our values with those offered by other ; convinced that our IMPORTERS PRICES offer you a great saving. 20% DOWN 10% MONTHLY We furnish a guarantee certificate wi every Diamond and allow the full purchi price on all exchanges. We will send exp! prepaid any Diamond or other article, for ex- aminaticn and approval, you to be the sole judge as to whether you keep it or return it ‘at our expense. Write today for our FREE catalog de luxe 82, and sce how easy it is for you to own beautiful Diamond. LL - SWEET & CO., Inc., 2 and 4 Maiden Lane New York City TRICKS, We will send you twocard tricks: very perplexing to onlookers, yet anyone can do showing over 100 e Tricks. All for 10c. ‘Shop. 20 North 13th Street, Phila. Pa. AVAL ART STUDIES i] EXQUISITE DEN PICTURES FROM LIFE Genuine raion of ving mode in, bewitching pose lama work foarte. 3 eel eit e LETs Te pte Fi ‘ure or 81. tor Back i 'sor as KEPkesesT amm| KING CO., 6008 J. W. -* ANDOVER, onto Press Cutting Bureau will send you all newspaper clip- pings which may appear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may | want to be “up to date."” Every newspaper and peri- odical of importance in the United States and Europe is searched. ‘Terms, $5.00 for 100 notices. HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave., N. Y. s, Brilliancy guaran teed 2Syears. Mounted in tk solid gold @ramination—all ‘charges prepaid. money “io advai Boney refunded if not satisfactory. Writs today for free eataloe VALLE -Y¥ GEM CO., 773 Wubsin Bldg., Book S—new fourth edition—"The Hair’ logy, anatomy, diseases and treatment—a scien- M Norway), results have with Getting Down to Business—‘‘Are you as perfect physically as you seem to be?”’ he asked. “Certainly,” she replied. “Has there ever been any insanity in your family?” “*Never.’” ‘Have you a depraved taste of ary kind?”" “Certainly not.’’ “Are your teeth in good condition and do you see and hear perfectly?” “Yes."” “Are you ever bothered by insomnia or headache or indigestion?”’ “Not at all.’” “Thank heaven! Now let’s make love a little while."’—Chicago Record-Herald. Veracity Paid—Once upon a time there was a boy, and he applied for a job. “‘We don’t want lazy boys here. Are you fond of work?” asked the boss, “No, sir,’’ answered the boy—looking the boss straight in the face. “Oh, you’re not, aren’t you? Well, we want a boy that is.’’ “There ain’t any doggedly. “Oh, yes, there are. We have had a dozen of that kind here this morning look- ing for a situation with us.’’ **How do you know they are not lazy?” persisted the boy. “Why, they told me so.’” **So I could have told you so; but I’m not a liar."’ He got the job.—New York Call. ’ insisted the boy In a Barber Shop—It was in a suburban barber shop, and a farmer with a week’s growth of stubby beard had seated him- self in a chair to have his whiskers cropped. “Guess you'll have a time gittin’ them off,’’ he remarked, as the barber began rubbing on the lather. ‘Oh, I don’t know,"’ said the barber carelessly. ‘‘All beards look alike to me."” “‘Wunst I went into a barber shop to git shaved,’’ resumed the farmer, ‘‘and after the barber was done and I was pay- in’ him, he remarked, ‘Say, old man, if all beards was like yourn, I’d quit the barber business.’ I sez to him, I sez, ‘Well, you haven't got anything on me, old man. If all barbers was like you, I’d let my beard grow.’"—Columbus Dis- patch. Like Father’s Clothes—Little James had been telling a visitor that his father had t of false teeth. said the visitor. ‘‘And what will he do with the old set?’’ “Oh, I s'pose,’’ replied little James, “they'll cut ’em down and make me wear "em."’—New York World. Back at Them— Labor unions were strong in his city. On Halloween the boys pulled a lot of pickets off the fence of the union barber and made a bonfire of them. The barber bought some pickets and nailed them onto his fence himself. Whereupon he was promptly fined $50 by the council for doing carpenter work Stories With Smiles which should have been done by a uniog carpenter. The barber thought this over for some time. Then he presented the carpenters’ union with a bill for $1,375. “‘What’s this for?’’ asked the chief of the carpenters’ union. “Why,” the barber replied, what's due the barbers penters shave themselve His fine was remitted. — Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. “that’s ecause the car. Interpretation of Scripture—They were speaking of the remarkable way in which telegraphic messages are occasionally in- terpreted, and this story was recalled by Governor-elect David I. Walsh, of Massa. chusetts: Some time ago the stork visited the home of a happy young couple in a New England town, and wishing to notify her girl chum, who lived in a distant city, the mother sent the following telegram: “For unto us a child is born.—Isaiah ix. 6."" “Oh, John,’’ exclaimed the girl chum to her husband on receiving the dispatch, ‘“‘T have just got a telegram from Gladys, and what do you think?’ “*You have got me chucked out at first in the conundrum game,’’ indulgently smiled John. ‘*What’'s the answer?” “Gladys has a baby boy!’’ enthusias- tically responded little wifey. ‘His name is Isaiah, and he weighs nine pounds six ounces !""—Philadelphia Telegraph. Why She Decided To Leave—Mrs. Al- len’s new servant came to her the morning after her arrival and said, “I'm goin’ to lave yez, mum, to-day. I'll not stay any longer.’’ “Going to leave!"’ cried Mrs. Allen, in amazement. ‘Why in the world are you going to leave so soon?” “Well, mum,” said the girl, ‘‘when I came yesterday mornin’, you gave me the keys to yer trunks and drawers and jewel cases to kape for yez. “Why, yes, so I did,’’ said the mix tress. ‘That showed that I trusted you. What is the matter?” “‘Well, yer see, mum,"’ said the serv- ant, ‘‘they don’t one of ’em fit.''—Chi- cago News. First Impressions Technicalities are never required to bolster up a good cause. Sunday to some married men is simply a day for doing things that have to be done around the house. When a woman looks especially con- tented, it isn’t usually a case of g deeds done so much as a new gown. “‘Keep your head in the stars, but your feet on the ground,’’ is good old copy- book advice, but it will never make a suc- cessful tango artist. Nature sometimes exhibits remarkable intelligence. Out in California a few days ago lightning struck an amateur who was practicing on a cornet. Why don’t these anti-white-slave re- formers do something for the woman who spends all her life in the kitchen?—W. Kee Maxwell, in Peoria Journal.