Judge, 1914-12-12 · page 13 of 24
Judge — December 12, 1914 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Jerking Too Soon"** is a humorous allegory about premature action. The narrator describes his nephew's statistical hobby, then pivots to broader life lessons. The "jerking" metaphor—abandoning a fishing line too early—represents rushing decisions across multiple domains: young lawyers running for office before building support, businessmen displaying wealth prematurely, and political leaders entering conflicts unprepared. The piece appears to reference European monarchs entering WWI without adequate resources or strategy, suggesting this was written during or shortly after that conflict. **"That Classical Concert"** is a cartoon depicting a loud orchestral performance disturbing residents downstairs—a sight gag about noise pollution from upstairs neighbors. **"Looking"** is a brief joke: someone asks another person about employment; the reply is he's "looking for one," playing on the double meaning of "looking" as both searching and appearance. The page blends gentle satire about human folly with lighthearted domestic humor typical of early-20th-century *Judge* magazine.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Jerking Too Soon Oo DOUBT,”’ stated Grout P. Smith, ‘there are other pursuits as futile as compiling statistics, but my nephew, Waldo Wab- bling, who recently grad- uated from the high school, seems to find it his favorite way of wast- ing time. He is of a mathematical turn and delights in reduc- ing to figures such problems as how many motions would be required to dip Lake Memphremagog dry with a gourd holding a fraction less than a pint, if the dipper put his whole mind to it. Still, it might be worse —he could be quarrelsome or de- voted to the tango or just a plain dead- beat, and he isn’t and doesn’t. And once in awhile he unearths food for philoso- phy along with his dusty figures. ‘For instance, the other day he gravely informed me that the American people lose each year 3,779,989 fish by jerking too soon. Ata casual glance that would seem to be slightly unimportant, even if THAT CLASSICAL CONCERT As it sounds to the nervous person downstairs. probable. But upon examining a little deeper into the matter, we find that if certain other things are substituted for fish, the problem becomes more or less vital. Several young attorneys of my acquainsance have consented to run for the Legislature at the earnest solicitation of their many friends, before they had many friends to solicit them—and thus jerked too soon. Certain other young men have made fair starts in business, but put on the airs of great prosperity before they could afford to; they jerked too soon. “Upon various occasions I she didn’t make sufficient allowances for his wariness. In business, war, love, poli- tics and so forth, most of us underesti- mate the other fellow’s intelligence and resources, and jerk too soon. I believe I could name a monarch or two in Europe who jerked too soon, and thus became in- volved in a war which will prove horribly disastrous to both winners and losers.’’ —Tom P. Morgan. Looking Friend—What are you doing for a job? Another—Looking for one. have had suave gentlemen seek to interest me in schemes, and, thinking I was hypnotized when I was merely ruminating, jerked too soon and lost me off the hook. An angling widow has been known to jerk be- fore she had the victim whom she intended making her third or fourth husband, as the case may have been, thoroughly hooked, because Friend—Atter all, woman is a weak vessel. Father (of a few)—She may be a weak vessel, but the cost of her rigging would lead one to suppose she is a dreadnought. comicbooks.com