Judge, 1914-12-05 · page 23 of 36
Judge — December 5, 1914 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Main Article (by George Bingham):** A nostalgic complaint that modern Christmases lack adequate snow compared to "grandfather's" era. The author humorously proposes importing arctic snow from authors Jack London and Robert Beach (who wrote adventure novels set in frozen regions), suggesting Americans organize a collective purchase to artificially create a white Christmas. The satire mocks both American consumerism and nostalgia for an idealized past—we've become so disconnected from nature that we'd rather *buy* winter than accept what we're given. **Bottom Cartoon ("Force of Habit"):** A poet's wife thanks him for mailing Christmas cards early. He then horrifies himself realizing he included return postage on every card—a reflexive habit from submitting poems to publishers (who expect return postage). The joke: poets are so accustomed to rejection that even their Christmas greetings anticipate being sent back. **Caption Reference:** "Creating a Demand" mocks advertising strategies that manufacture artificial consumer desire rather than meeting actual needs.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Let Us Have More Snow Ky GEORGE BINGHAM AS RESIDENTS, plaintiffs, defendants and taxpayers of these beloved United States, why cannot we join in and have one more old-fashioned white Christ- mas—one like grandfather had every year, when he would load up on Tom and Jerry and holiday trinkets and wade through snow almost whiskers deep to get to the Christmas tree at the schoolhouse? The only drawback to this is that we lack one of the principal ingredients, and that is the snow. And, by the way, what has become of all the deep snows—the kind you see no more? Indeed pme parts of the country you could not tell Christmas was at hand if it was not for the various advertisements. It seems to snow just enough nowadays to keep up appearances, or to bear out, in an unconfirmed way, the predictions in the patent-medicine pamphlets. On many occasions after it has snowed—or snown (why shouldn't that sound right?)—for several hours, a rabbit has to go over a route the second time before it is able to indi- cate to the dog the direction it has taken. But we of the United States are a resourceful lot of per- sons. What nature fails to furnish us, we order from those who have it, and as cash accompanies each order, our imports are reasonably prompt. Now we gather from roundabout sources that J. London and R. Beach have not used up all of the arctic snows in the build- ing of their book plots, so we beg to be allowed to suggest in our most feeble way that we all chip in together and buy or AS THE ADVERTISERS SAY: “CREATING A DEMAND” DECORATED FOR GALLANTRY ON THE FIELD rent, f. 0. b., U.S. A., a supply of the snow that is so ple: ful in the far north, and scatter it over our ground about waist deep, with a little salt, so that it would keep throughout the holiday week. Before applying it, fleets of aeroplanes could fly thither and yonder, letting loose No. 1 prime goose feathers mixed with white confetti. And as these floated down gently and as innocently as any flake of real snow, an army of workers could spread the snow, and in doing it in the right way could put over a very pretty piece of de- ception on Santa Claus, at least. The snowing could be done under the Vrooman act, each property owner paying according to his or her front footage or area, and where there were those who were ac- customed to spreading everything on a little bit deeper than any one else, let them pay extra and get it banked higher in front of their respective doors. Now, with this suggestion loom- ing large and bright in our minds, let every one of us put our shoulders to the wheel by the time the Christ- mas Number of JupGe comes out, and begin to arrange for one of those old-fashioned Christmases like grand- ma used to hate. Force of Habit Poet's wife—Thank goodness, we’re getting our Christmas re- membrances mailed early this year! You sent all the cards from the list I gave you, didn’t you, dear? Poet—Yes, they're all attended to. (After a moment of horrified introspection) Great heavens, Gladys! I believe I inclosed return postage with every one of those Christmas cards! comicbooks.com