Judge — December 5, 1914 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Christmas Phrases Defined “Peace on earth, good-will toward men.’’—An expression of universal amity formerly en- joying great vogue, but which has been recently blue-penciled by the European censor: “What shall I give? An annual interrogation pro- pounded by every one but the barber-shop porters, apartment- house janitors, colored laun- dresses and elevator boys. “Please remit.’’—A Christ- mas greeting on plain, ruled stuff received by father, while every one else is getting pict- ures of old churches smothered in frost and sleigh t 5 “Itisso useful.’’—A verbal reassurance accompanying the presentation of a new overcoat to one who had expected an air rifle. “Thanks, boss.’’—An offi- cial announcement by thejanitor that terms are satisfactory and that heat will be continued as usual. ‘‘Have another.’’—Christ- mas carol of the Won't Go Home Till Mornin’ Club, “Yum-yum !’’—An ecstatic exclamation placed immediate- ly after the conjunction of a man, a maid and a mistletoe. “Do your shopping early."* —Slogan of the Association of Those Who Believe That He Who Shops Early Shops Often. CHRISTMAS MORNING ae The average honest man—That looks like a pretty fat pocketbook. be just my luck to find the owner's name and address inside “ We don’t want any breakfast, nurse!" LUCK The Speculator’s Christmas Wish Dear Santa Claus, when you are making Your 1914 trip, Please recollect that I am aching For an authentic ‘‘tip. This same desire please do not mock, But drop the answer in my sock, The Shrewd Salesgirl “‘Madam,’’said the patient saleslady to the peevish cus- tomer, ‘‘you have the rhyme right, but the word wrong.’’ “*What do you mean?’’ snapped the customer. “*The papers have been saying, ‘Do your Christmas shopping early’—not‘surly.’”” Id The Christmas Gift By CHARLES CAMPBELL JONES HE Christmas gift, as it appears on Christmas morn- ing, may be anything from a knitted tie to a house and lot on the boulevard, But no matter what its material value, it is worth no more and no less than the spirit behind it. If the millionaire gives nig- gardly, his is a niggardly gift, though it be exchangeable in the open market for a thousand dollars; if the six-dollar-a-week shopgirl gives freely, even though it be worth no more than a loaf of bread, her gift is be- yond price. The scrubwoman has it in her power to give as magnifi- cently as the banker’s wife for whom she works, A smile and a cheery word-—-from rich or poor, to poor or rich—are of fixed and indestructible value. They possess the only real value; for even gold, the accepted standard, is valuable only while the co-operation and good-will of nations make it so. The Christmas gift cannot be bought or sold in the market- place. It is inherent and can- not be bandied about for a price. It must express the spirit of the day and the giver. The real Christmas gift is the gift of giving. comicbooks.com