Judge — December 5, 1914 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

buys the complete GEM DAMASKEENE $ 00 RAZOR outht in a genuine leather case Patticake, patticake, shaving man, Go buy a GEM as quick as you can. Test it and try it in every way— “Best of all Safetys!” you'll surely say. | You Take no Chances Buy a GEM DAMASKEENE RAZOR—give it a severe test— hh wil surpass you —% doesn’t, retum razor to your dealer and get your dollar back —we stand behind the dealer. together with 7 GEM DAMASKEENE == Blades and extra stropping handles. ALL LIVE DEALERS GEM CUTLERY COMPANY, Incorporated NEW YORK CANADIAN BRANCH: 591 ST. CATHERINE ST., W., MONTREAL J. M. HUBER MANUFACTURER OF Dry Colors Pulp Colors FINE terrereress INKS Main Office: 68-67 West Houston Street NEW YORK Chicago Philadelphia St. Louis Baltimore Cincinnati Omaha San Francisco HUBER’S INKS USED ENTIRELY ON THIS PUBLICATION Amusing Tales A Sinner Next Time—Just when a Louis. ville woman was at her wit's end after many unsuccessful attempts to engage g cook, Mandy applied for the situation ang was promptly hired. Mandy was aeoga. try nigger’’ of generous proportions and an unlimited ability along culinary lines, and her mistress soon found that she hal a regular cook at last. Unlike many of her kind, Mandy showe) no desire to pry into the affairs of be mistress and was equally silent about ber own. She had been employed for son time before her mistress, engaging bern conversation, discovered the bitterness rankling in her dusky cook’s soul. “You've never been married?” she is quired. “Oh, yes’m,” widder."" “Your husband died?"" **No'm; I’se a grass widder."’ “*You’ve been divorced, then?" Mandy’s indignation at past wrongs gut the better of her natural reserve and she blurted out, “Now, I’se a-goin’ to tell you all abost it. I married a preacher—a no-accocrt nigger preacher. He done run off with one of the sisters of the congregation. | ain’t got no divorce, but I’m goin’ to get one and marry again. And when I marry, believe me, I’se a-goin’ to marry a siz. ner."’—Lonisville Times. Perplexity of the Captain- They were talking about the trials of the motorist, when this anecdote was contributed by Congressman Charles F. Booher, of Mis souri. In the East there is a man who runse small ferry across one of the importatt rivers, charging twenty-five cents for the transportation of a single team and forty cents for a double one. One afternoon, in the early days of automobiling, a city party drove up to the ferry in a touring car and attempted to go onto the boat, but was held up by the captain, who told him to wait. Finally, after the boat had crossed the river two or three times, the motorist began to get impatient. “Can't take ye over yet,’ answered the captain, in response to the motorist’s demands. ‘Yer the fust one o’ them things that ever crossed here, an’ I don't know what ter charge ye."” “Don’t know what to charge me!” wonderingly ejaculated the motoris “‘No,'’ answered the captain. “I've been studyin’ ye six different ways, a0’ I'll be derned if I kin figger out whether yer a one-hoss team er a two-hoss team.” —Philadelphia Telegraph. Infallible—Visitor—I have a wonderful idea that if properly exploited would ir- immediate peace ; Editor —What will it cost to exploit it? Visitor — Why — ah — about seven dol lars. Editor—No use. There's a man in the block across the street who does better than that. For a two-cent stamp he'll send you an infallible remedy for seco ing peace. Visitor—Wh-what is it? Editor —Quit fighting. Good-day. Close the door, please. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. said Mandy. “I'se g