Judge — November 21, 1914 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

n Passing the Mustard Wanderlust There’s a hand organ playing below in the street, Just s popular air that’s distractingly sweet— And there’s something the matter with ev’ry one’s feet. There's a bird flitting by with some business afar, For a chat with a rose or call on a star— And you want to be anywhere but where you are. There's a breeze blowing in through the window and door, With a scent of the waters, a smell of the shore— And the burden grows heavy, so heavy before. And it isn’t the eastland, it isn’t the west, And it isn’t the south or the north seems the best— That calls you and fills you with summer’s unrest; For it’s all of the world that is calling you now, The salt of the sea and the soil of the plow. You never know where and you never care how— But you want to go follow that organ afar, Away from the town and the clang of the car— You want to be anywhere but where you are. —Douglas Malloch, in American Lumberman. What It Stood For—‘‘Have you any fresh eggs?’’ asked the American in London. “Yes, mum, plenty,’’ said the clerk. ‘*Them with a hen on’em are fresh.”” “T don’t see any with a hen on them,” said Mrs. X——, looking around for a nest. “The letter ‘hen,’ mum, not the bird. ‘Hen’ stands for ‘noo- laid,’ mum.""—New York Sun. His Gratification—‘‘I tell you,’’ said Poots, ‘‘there is an inde- scribable sense of luxury in lying in bed and ringing one’s bell for his valet.”” ‘ou've a valet?’’ asked Poots’s friend. “No,”’ replied Poots; ‘‘but I’ve got a bell.’’— Rochester Telegram. Scandal—‘‘I've got something I want to tell you. You haven’t beard about the shocking Billinger scandal, have you?” “Yes. I've heard about it at least four times, You're late.'’ “That's funny. It was told at the club for the first time, and everybody there promised not to repeat it.’’—Topeka Journal. Didn’t Apply—‘‘I believe in the motto, ‘Never put off till to- morrow what you can do to-day. “Pay me that five dollars, then."” “The rule doesn’t apply; that’s something I can’t do to-day.’’ —Boston Transcript. Owed It to His Wife—‘‘My wife made me a success,’’ remarked the man. “Tam glad to hear you say that,’’ declared his pastor. “Yes; she has always wanted so many things that I’ve just had to bustle.""—Kansas City Journal. The Reason—‘‘Why are women so crazy over these battered-up football players?”” suppose it is because of the innate feminine love of rem- nants."’—Baltimore American. Misunderstood—New maid—In my last place I always took things fairly easy. Cook—Well, it’s different here. They keep everything locked Up.—Tit-Bits. Why Not—Dr. Pillem—Are you going to call a consultation? Dr. Bolus—I think not. I don’t believe the patient has that mach money.—New York Post. Caretaker—‘‘This plant belongs to the begonia family.’’ “Ah! 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