Judge — October 31, 1914 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

From a Sinner’s Diary I'VE GOT to get my buggy tires set. They're as noisy as any new under- skirt. I know where there’s aripe second-crop strawberry, if a lunkhead robin doesn’t find it. To-day I found eighteen four-lesf clo- vers. They raise up and wag at me like you've seen geese stand on tiptoe and flop their wings in a mud puddle. Like the big white gander does. To buy corn with a nice bright dollar to feed hens to get the dollar back, I am against unanimously. Keep a flock just big enough to live on the broken dishes and melon rinds, I contend in a loud voice. Fish the rest of the time or crochet or take sun baths—whatever appeals. Or keep diary and henpeck editors or write to’em in pencil on both sides of the paper. Last night I was greeted with this pleasant information: ‘Sundaes are ten cents now. Sugar has gone up.” “I have almost. Give me half a one,’’ I an- swered. That the war concerned me like that was something I hadn't figured on, like twins. Boston Gert Club Cocktails An essential of Correct Dress for Men Lisle 25¢ Sik 50¢ Himes bene eesmeer iss T CO. Aiters B EXPERT mixing—in exact pro} uniformly distinctive flavor that has made Club Cocktails famous. And the soft, mellow smoothness— that's the result of aging in the wood. As for materials, Club Cocktails are made of the finest money can buy. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO. Hartford New York Importers of the famous A-1 Sauce London Rich Cuban Cigars 55° "t break yoo, but smokes of the choicest favor and fragrance in your ban than cost. nothing! Send 2S¢ silver or stamps. We pay FRENCH TOBACCO CO., Dept. 43, St Will you prove It tor yourel!—to-day ? You risk a oh oa DENIS BASEL Dept. esta ed ihtful “age Deli WHISKEY If you mustn’t give bad impressions, go a step farther and don’t take 'em. Yesterday I went to give a lesson and the boy was gone. His mother thought he'd gone swimming. He never told her, because she worried. But when he went out with his raincoat under his arm, all innocent looking in front, his clean under- wear was sticking out of it behind! And that was proof enough for her. She jawed about her man every minute, and if you'd see him, you wouldn’t blame her. Now, I'm used to having plenty of women jaw to me about their men, and know how tohelp back. But almost astranger! So I looked out and said, ‘‘You’ve got some dandy cucumber vines."’ “Yes; and that’s all I have got. I've tried ever since I’ve lived here to have a fence made across this little end by the house. You can’t raise anything with hens pasturing on it.’’ I wanted to say, ‘‘If he comes before I have to go, I'll hold him and let you ham- mer him all you want to. It will help soothe away all these torturing years, I know."? But I asked, ‘Did the boy go with the auto?"" “Oh, we sold that long ago. Every few days we'd have to get an expert here, and the minute he was gone, Mr. —— would crawl under it and take out every screw he could find and put 'em back in the wrong place, and then it wouldn't go again. I was glad when the thing was sold."" I knew I ought to say, ‘‘I’d know he was exactly that kind of a turkey buzzard if I'd never been told a word.’’ But I started in telling her about a cyclone I'd read of that day, and she got real cheer- ful overa husband that got runaway with ona binder and slung under a barn, and then the barn fell on him. —Lynette Freemire. Mo: WHITE V. Made-to-Measurs Express Prepaid $Q00 ‘Two piece suit, cut in the lat- est city style. Made to your in- dividual measure. Fit, work- manship and wear guaranteed. NO EXTRA CHARGE for peg tops, no matter how extreme yea order the ‘A good live hustler in every tows Agents 1, “take orders for our Wanted made-to-measur¢ clothes. D-arta| of real cloth samples of all the latest materials FREE. Fifty Fashion Plates. We Pay Big Money Gay ter The Progress Tailoring | Co. Dept. 511 ‘AGO and fire diamond test y gesily ‘scratch a fleas! Brilliancy gvarae edt in 14k solid gold Stand ac So bard t! will cut glass, teed years, M dlamond mountings. Ang. Will send sou an: ney retu ‘ci oe 773 Walkin Bldg. Lndianapels ROMEIKE’ you want to be * odi is s HE Press Cutting Bureaa will send you all newspaper clip pings which may appear about u, your friends, or any subject on which you may “up to date."’ Every newspaper and per ical of importance in the United States and Europe arched. “l'erms, $5.00 for 100 notices. NRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave., N.Y. SALESMEN for SMALL TOWNS time or side lin sales plan d 00 com> ‘Write fer n . pocket outht Chics WRITE “MOVING PICTURE : PLAYS WAI si Get cog eank, Berets alan eere Uns nce Cor jot Required. CPaterbenese nee aa 0 eanee ean suse Pomamine Oo nha. eaacomaan, Cone NTEO—AN IDEA! WHO CAN THINK OF SOME ple thing to patent ? Protect your ideas, they may brine wealth. Write for “ Needed Invent! ed” He Your Patent and Your Money. Patent Attorneys Dept. 129, Washington. D.C. .C.____ MATCHLESS POCKET LIGHTER AND PENCIL . eoly Se. D. Lave comicbooks.com