Judge, 1914-09-26 · page 6 of 24
Judge — September 26, 1914 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical romantic comedy about courtship and manipulation. Percy, a persistent suitor, finally wins Gladys's agreement to marry—but only after she admits she's using him as a substitute for another man who "got away." Her real motivation, revealed at the end, is financial: she wants alimony. The satire targets female gold-diggers and mercenary marriage tactics of the era. Percy, initially portrayed as overly attentive (providing limousines, preventing drafts), becomes the dupe who marries knowing he's a "second choice." The final panel's political joke references women's suffrage debates: if women voted in Congress, there'd be competition for speaker—implying women are inherently competitive and self-interested, playing into anti-suffrage rhetoric of the period. The bottom illustrations show a seasick "landlsman" and agricultural college stereotypes, providing additional comic relief unrelated to the main narrative.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Percy Patches a Ruined Life By TERRELL LOVE HOLLIDAY «you SENT for me?’’ asked Percy. “Yes,’’ replied Gladys embar- rassedly. “You have re- considered and wish to change your an- swer?”’ “I do,’? she ad- mitted, twisting her handkerchief. “Why ?’’ demand- ed Percy suspicious- ly. “You almost jeered at my pre- sumption in proposing to you."” “‘L miss you,"’ confessed Gladys. ‘You came so often.”’ “T see,"’ said Percy coldly. ‘I became a habit, and you have de- VhLI Rev = cided that taking me would be easier than taking a cure. I refuse to be a dose."’ “But you've got to marry me!’’ she cried desperately. ‘‘You’ve ruined my life, and if you don’t do the right thing, I'll sue you or something!" “*What?"’ he gasped. Gladys lacerated her corsage bouquet in tearful silence. “Did I not invariably provide a limou- sine when I took you out?’’ demanded the aggrieved swain. ‘‘And see that you didn’t stand in a draft when you had be- come overheated by dancing? Did 1 ever Mabel—He seems awfully green for a college graduate. fail to bring you home before you got too much champagne?"’ “Oh, you did all of those things,’* con- ceded Gladys, drying her eyes with the care necessary to preserve her complex- ion, ‘*But sitting up with you till twelve o'clock three or four nights in the week gave me chronic insomnia. Save me, Percy!'’ she begged. ‘‘I was always so deliciously sleepy after an evening with you!’’ “I'll be hanged if I'll be a sleeping SS ARS nw GIVING UP HIS SECRET Boatman—What's the matter, mister? Landsman—I—I'm ho—o—me—sick ! Maud—It was an agricultural college. powder!’’ shouted Percy. Then the lure of her tempting red lips overcame him. “I'll tell. you what I’ll do,” eraftily proposed he. ‘‘I’ll be your fiance.”” “You darling!’’ she murmured, at- tempting to wind her soft, white arms around his neck. “‘Wait!"’ commanded Percy, embold- ened by her instant acquiescence. ‘Will you furnish the ring?”’ Gladys demurred, but finally agreed. “And you swear that you will not sue me for breach of promise when I break the engagement?” She swore, as there were no witnesses and he could not hold her to the oath. The rest was easy. That night Gladys sent the announcement to the newspapers, and rather than have people believe that he had been jilted, Percy married her. When they had passed through the rice shower to the seclusion of their drawing- room, Percy took the bride upon his knee. “‘Darling,"’ he coaxed, with the doubt born of much knowledge, ‘‘tell me the real reason you became so determined to marry me, after having once refused me."” Knowing that alimony is just as good as pin money, Gladys could afford to do as a dutiful wife should—tell her husband everything. “When I rejected you,” she sighed, “I thought I had the other fellow hooked. But he got away.’”” Percy gulped hard, then consoled him- self with a kiss and the thought, ‘‘It is better to be second choice than not to be chosen at all.’’ If Congress was composed of women, there would be some contest for the speakership. comicbooks.com