Judge — September 19, 1914 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stories ‘with Smifes More in His Flock—There was a certain bishop who had a pleasant habit of chat- ting with anybody he might meet during his country walks. One day he came across a lad who was looking after some pigs by the roadside, and the bishop psused to ask him what he was doing, that being his usual opening to conversa- tion, “Moindin’ swoine,’’ the lad replied stolidly. The bishop nodded his head thoughtfully. “Ah, is that s0?’’ he cémmented. ‘And bow much do you earn a week?”’ “Two shillin’s,’’ was the reply. “Only two shillings?’’ remarked the bishop. Then he continued pleasantly, “I, too, am a shepherd, but I get more than two shillings.’’ The lad looked at him suspiciously for aminute; then he said slowly, “Mebbe you gets more swoine nor me to moind."’—Philadelphia Ledger. Too Particular — Howard Elliott, the head of the New Haven lines, was talking in New York about railroad punctuality. “Our trains are far more punctual than they used to be,’’ he said. ‘*‘Did youever bear about the Western train that tied up for the night on account of a storm? “A drummer on this train—this hap- pened years ago—said pleasantly to the conductor, “‘We're going to be late, friend.’ " said the conductor, in surly no, we ain’t going to be late, “ ‘But,’ said the drummer, ‘I thought we were going to tie up here for the night!” “*So we are,’ the conductor sneered. ‘So we are; but that isn’t going to make us late. We don’t run so close to time as all that.’ "’— Washington Star. Motive Mistaken—Francis Ouimet, at a luncheon in Paris, began a toast on golf with a golf story. “A half-dozen golfers,"’ he said, ‘‘were returning in the smoker from a victorious match, and in their jubilation a small sil- ver pocket flask was being passed from hand to hand. ‘tA clergyman, as the flask went by him, said, ““Do you know, gentlemen, I have pree tasted a drop of whiskey in all my ife? ““*Well,’ said one of the golfers, mis- taking the motive of the clergyman’s re- mark, ‘well, ye ain’t goin’ to begin now, neither.’ "—Detroit Free Press. In Plain View— Ebenezer Holcombe had atwelve-hundred-pound hog, which he had exhibited in atent at the fairs for three years, charging ten cents admission. One Y a traveling man, who was passing through the town in which Mr. Holcombe GREAT HEAK SPRING WATER. ite purity as Se the ease of sit clase stopres mous." red bottles. (4Dve.) He knows that when he puts his beer in light glass bottles and placards the case—“Keep this coveron to protect the beer from light” that he is deliber- ately throwing on you—the responsibility of keeping it pure. Why should you take the risk? Beer is saccharine. The slightest taint of impurity ruinsitshealthfulness. Schlitz is made pure and the Brown Bottle keeps it pure from the brewery to your glass. See that Crown is branded “Schlitz” bs Order a Case Today The Beer .. That Made Milwaukee Famou Preserve Your Copies of Judge Send for one of these handsome binders which hold from one to fifty-two copies of JUDGE. Keep your back numbers in one of these three-quarter leather covers on your library table and have a growing volume of illustrated wit and humor that will never grow old and will delight and amuse every member of the family the year around. Judge 225 Fifth Avenue New York Price $1.50 Postpaid comicbooks.com