Judge, 1914-09-12 · page 5 of 24
Judge — September 12, 1914 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains miscellaneous humor and poetry rather than political satire. The main image shows two people in a boat during rain, captioned "This Rain Is Doing an Awful Lot of Good"—a joke about optimistic reinterpretation of bad weather. Below are several short pieces: "A Solution" (a poem about chance meeting a woman), "Different" (contrasting pessimist and optimist attitudes), and "A Success" (a conversation about social mobility). An illustration labeled "The Real Dove of Peace" depicts a dove or bird. The page also includes sections on "Human Nature," "He Knew Mountains" (a geography mishap joke), and "Character" (brief philosophical observation). This appears to be filler content—lighthearted humor and verse—rather than satirical commentary on specific political events or figures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“THIS RAIN IS DOING AN AWFUL LOT OF GOOD” A Solution walking down the avenue, ‘Twas there one morning that I met her. One glance—'twas merely chance, I knew; One look, and she had forged a fetter! Her eyes were of a heavenly stain; She seemed compact of love and laugh- ter. She had a dog upon a chain, Two callow suitors trailing after! She woke within my heart a flame, Rapt ings in my cerebellum; Her lovely color went and came, Like tides upon the Bay of Pelham. Thoughts of her beauty filled my brain, Until they raised a merry ruction; I strayed about like one insane, Until I got an introduction. Her father is a millionaire, And she has loads of expectations; While mine are—Castles in the Air And reams of rhyme and poor relations! And yet she says she loves a ‘‘flat, And of a cottage is no scorner; And so we'll solve our problem at The Little Church around the Corner! Clinton Scoltard. Different “I'd ask you to dance only you told me you were tired.’” “But I’m not too tired to dance,"’ The Difference The pessimist puts out his fecble can- dle; the optimist uses the snuffers. THE REAL DOVE OF PEACE A Success HE conversation had turned to the many men who had met success. “There, for instance,’’ said one man, pointing down the street, ‘‘goes a man who began life in poverty and now lives on the fat of the land.”’ McFee looked. ‘‘Yes, I know him,”’ be replied. ‘‘He’s an agent for an anti- fat concern.” Homan Nature I wish I had a syllabub, a protoplasm and A large three-cornered cumberbund, a haggi in each hand. I could not tell you what they are, if fail- ing I'd be shot. ‘The reason why I want them is because I have them not. HeeKnew Mountains The new boy in the school was being examined in geography. ‘‘What kind of mountains are there in South America?’’ he was asked. “*High,’’ he replied. Character If we would weave character, we must first separate our ideals from our habits, unless our habits are ideal. comicbooks.com