Judge — August 8, 1914 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AZ BARLOW was out on his tall bi- cycle yesterday, experiencing how it feels to ride in an automobile. Atlas Peck opened his campaign as a candidate for office at the Bounding Bil- lows barbecue on the Fourth of July. He has not yet fully decided what office he will run for. The presiding elder will visit the Dog Hill church Sunday week, and the preacher will deliver his other sermon. The Excelsior Fiddling Band is reported to have rendered some excellent music at Rye Straw a few days ago. Several peo- ple bragged on the music so much, the band played everything it knew. The tin peddler was here this week. A deaf man wanted to buy one of the watches from the peddler’s stock, but could not find one that ticked loud enough. Cricket Hicks has accepted a lucrative position as traveling representative of an enlarged picture concern. Cricket is very tired when night comes, as he is com- pelled to carry around as a sample the enlarged picture of a fat man. Tobe Moseley was a visitor at the Hog Ford stillhouse this week. He complains that the path leading from the stillhouse is too crooked for a sober person to walk straight in. Miss Flutie Belcher has put two new wings on her hat and will leave to-morrow for a flying trip to Rye Straw. Sim Flinders, who has been whittling Atlas Peck Grasesesesesesesesesesesesese if Lazytown Local News i Bee A TYPICAL LAZYTOWN LANDSCAPE By GEORGE BINGHAM sal on a box at the postoffice for the past few days, completed his task yesterday and departed for the Calf Ribs neighbor- hood. Slim Pickens saw a blind man playing a fiddle on the street at Tickville Satur- day afternoon, and stood around and watched him play as long as he wanted to. Cricket Hicks says all fiddles have bridges on them, but that the one on a blind man’s fiddle is for the public to come across on. The Wild Onion school has come toa close. The teacher is yet undecided what he will do, but he may darken the win- dows of the building and start a night school. The Excelsior Fiddling Band will give a musicale at the Wild Onion schoolhouse next second Saturday night. The depity con- stable will be on hand to keep everybody quiet except the band. Poke Eazley’s calf has been missing for several days, and in the search for it he is leaving no stone unturned. Much uneasiness was felt for several hours yesterday over the con- tinued absence of Jefferson Potlocks. He left his home as usual immediately after Poke Eaziey eating his dinner, and was not located until the following day. He had been suffering with the toothache, and at the same time was breaking in a pair of new Sunday shoes, and when found at the still- house was feeling as well as could be expected. The editor of the Tick- ville Tidings complains that if the shows are not more liberal with their free passes, he will have to sus- pend publication. Isaac Hellwanger, our widely known rat-trap in- ventor and Hog Ford Sunday-school teach- er, has returned from a flying trip to Bounding Billows, the Calf Ribs neigh- borhood and other points, where he tried out under various conditions his newest invention, which will no doubt prove a big success. The new device is on the plan of a clock, with a pendulum swing- ing back and forth very fast. Bait is placed on the pendulum, and the rat begins to chase it back and forth until he be- comes disgusted and leaves. The barber at Tickville is not able to have a barber pole yet, and in the mean- time will stand in front of his place of business with a striped collar on. The school at Bounding Billows has a new map, and the teacher has torn 8 large hole in it to advertise Mammoth Cave. The reason there is so much laziness in the world is because there are so many good places to sit down and rest when you are not tired. Editor of the Tidings comicbooks.com