Judge — August 8, 1914 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ito nt ed With The College Wits ery—English lady—About the pota- toes for lunch, sir. Will you have them in their jackets or in the nood?— Yale Record. Not Serious—‘‘I'm so glad you've taken Greek !"” “[ haven't taken it; I've only been ex- posed to it."’— Yale Record. The, Fisherman Cautious, at morn, he lies about the pool, His rod and line a-swish; Boldly, at eve, astride a tavern stool, He lies about his fish! —Harvard Lampoon. Two Viewpoints Constance—Cute little puppy, isn’t he? Christina—Yes, and he has lots of money, too.—Princeton Tiger. Some Old Ones—I have heard of the father who told his son in a loud tone of voice, ‘I am still the boss of this house !’* And the son replied, ‘All right, dad; but you're a coward to make the boast behind mother’s back.’’ I have heard the story of the certain surly old Yankee who runs small summer hotel on the coast, and who once received a letter from a pro- spective ‘‘guest,’’ who wrote to engage two large sunny rooms, overlooking the ocean and connected with private bath. The old Yankee sent the following letter: “Dear madam—All rooms face the ocean, and that’s your bath.’’ I once heard a shoe dealer usk anold miner how he liked the last pair of boots he sold him, and the miner replied, ‘‘The best I ever tasted !’’ I asked an old farmer once to what he attributed his longevity, and he told me that he never had one. But about the best story I have heard is on the Wash- ington lawyer. It appears that at a trial in Baltimore he summoned as a witness ayouthful physician, and naturally in the ¢ross-examination he seized the occasion to be sarcastic. ‘‘Are you,’’ demanded the lawyer, ‘‘entirely familiar with the symptoms of concussion of the brain?’’ The young physician replied, ‘‘Yes, sir, I am."’ Then the smart lawyer put a hypo- thetical case before the doctor, in this way: “If my learned friend, Mr. Reid, and myself should bang our heads to- gether, would we get concussion of the brain?’" The young physician calmly re- plied, ‘Mr. Reid might.”’—Silent Partner. OUT Horatio Nelson, England would have been invaded and perhaps conquered by Napoleon. Ar Trafalgar he smashed forever the French Emperor's hope of creating a naval power. Never i] vas man more idolized and beloved—not only by all of England’s people who breathlessly awaited news of his telling victories, but by every man of his fleet AtrueAnglo-Saxon, he detested tyrannous and legislative usurpations of every kind. He was particularly opposed to prohibitive enactments governing the diet of hi men,who, like him, enjoyed Barley-Malt brews, even as their fathers did for countless generations before, Good beer, according to Lord Nelson, has ever been food. Budweiser Beer for 57 years has been the peas of an institution holding the highest ideals known to the art of The output, due to Quality and Purity, has increased every year unti 3,500 men are daily required to keep pace with the public demand. Budweiser sales ced any other beer by millions of bottles. ANHEUSER-BUSCH, Bottled only at the home plant. ST. LOUIS,U.S.A. udwel HEN formulating plans for your fall advertising campaign, it will be to your advantage Wi. keep THE MAGAZINE OF FUN in mind, With its low rate of 20 cents per line THE MAGAZINE OF FUN offers the conservative advertiser an unusually good oppor- tunity to present his proposition to the reading public. Let us send you a copy of our current issue and rate card, together with further information. You can judge that THE MAGAZINE OF FUN pays its advertisers by the fact that they continue to use space in it. In one of our recent issues 80% of the advertisers who purchased space were running “till forbid" —convincing evidence that they are getting results. For further information address THE MAGAZINE OF FUN, 225 Fifth Ave., New York, N. Y. comicbooks.com