Judge — August 8, 1914 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

What's Not in Washington that Might Have Taken Place in the Nation's Capital, but Haven't By FRANCIS X. OSWALD Washington Correspondent of Juvce (Special Dispatches to Jupce) Wasuincton, D. C., August 8th —Care- fol triangulation has developed the star- tling fact that the Washington Monument js leaning to the southward. This is de- dared by eminent entomologists on the “pag’” staff of the government to be due tothe attraction of the sun. In the course of several thousand years they declare it may lean enough to rival the Leaning Tower of Pisa. And again it may not. Particular precautions have been taken inst anything that might accentuate this strange failing of this enormous structure. The south windows at the top, formerly so popular for all tourists, have been closed, to compel visitors to re- main on the north side of the monument. This, it is believed, may counteract the tendency of the structure to topple over. As the monument is 555 feet high, the authorities here have decided that there will be plenty of time when it actually starts falling and before it reaches the ground to push it back into place. An indignant denial from the White House has been issued of the report that the structure is hereafter to be known as the Huerta Monument, in recognition of the ability of the Mexican President to totter without falling. fs} Considerable agitation developed this morning when it became known that Sec- retary Bryan has rescinded the famous “wine mess’’ order of the State Depart- ment, and that hereafter American diplo- mats would not be compelled to serve wine atstate banquets. They are to be allowed to regale their titled guests with grape juice or ice-cream soda or even good old- fashioned American ice water. At the same time an order was given out by Secretary Garrison, abolishing the ‘‘pie mess’’ in the army canteen. This was done over the vigorous protest of the In- diana delegation in Congress, who insisted that if the pies which have kept Hoosier- dom on the map are to be excommuni- cated, the Boston bean must follow them into oblivion. Secretary Garrison still bas that demand under consideration. Egg View Notes RUMAN BILGE, who saves up his money, has a chance to make a sound investment. He received a catalogue of band instruments by mail yesterday. Cylindra Berger pronounces tobacco a big nuisance. She says that several of thy men here wouldn’t remove their chews long enough to whistle at a piece of news. Skeet Winkle, our county drain com- missioner, left an empty jug in Dow Lud- lam’s cellar Tuesday afternoon. Ote Gimber is working on the highway in front of his place, bugging several tows of potatoes. Another dessert delight. WIN KS ws NDORA THest incomparable sweets are the most universally popular of all dessert confections. at dinner, afternoon tea or any social gathering, Nabisco Sugar Wafers are equally delightful and appropriate. In ten-cent tins; also in twenty-five-cent tins. ADORA Wafers of pleasing size and form with a bountiful confectionery filling. Another help to the hostess. In ten-cent tins. = NABISCO Sugar Wafers Whether served A bottle of ketchup in the grocery win- dow exploded Saturday morning, com- pletely ruining both hats in the millinery display. Having purchased the old Lingo farm, a Spring Ledge-dentist has moved out there and found a lot of stumps to pull. Cylindra Berger drank some water in the Gimber swamp Friday noon and has been sick ever since. She thinks it had wigglers in it. —Lealie Van Every. From a Sinner’s Diary Love is not blind, you know. He sees a million things no one else can. When it wants to snow and blow, I like to see it act as if it could. I never especially take to good people. Warm, stale rain water is my idea of + good. Rather I like the ones who taste like wine, who make you feel they grew in sun-kissed valleys, with snow-capped mountains and silvery rivers insight. It’s enough if the water is turned at their feet. Whenever a male flutters around me, I think he must be paying an election bet. I know a man who quarrels with you when exactly agreeing. I’ve bitten so many gold bricks my teeth are all broken off but my eye ones. Brother is getting so proud of me he hangs around under foot wanting to wait on me till he’s a nuisance. He has a scar on his thumb where a ferret bit him, and he shows it, saying I did it, and tells how I used to thrash him! I shall borrow money of him and buy him a nice birth- day present—a box of cookies, I guess. That will save me baking, while they last. —Lynette Freemire. comicbooks.com