Judge, 1914-08-08 · page 11 of 24
Judge — August 8, 1914 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical story from *Judge* magazine depicts a woman (Miss Moneypenny) who has received marriage proposals from two suitors (Spooner and Crabthorne). Rather than decide based on sentiment or character alone, she proposes a tennis match to "study" both men. The satire critiques the "primitive impulse" of male competition: the two men, initially antagonistic upon discovering they're rivals, accept her challenge to prove themselves through sport. Miss Moneypenny shrewdly observes that her wealth likely motivated their proposals—suggesting that without money, she'd be invisible to them. The joke lies in the men's unspoken acceptance that winning a game proves romantic worthiness, and in Miss Moneypenny's pragmatic exposure of their materialistic motivations masked as genuine affection. It satirizes both masculine vanity and the transactional nature of Edwardian courtship among the wealthy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
a TT se QVELL, shall we play?” asked Crab- thorne. “Wait a minute,’’ Moneypenny. They were at the tennis court of a replied Miss country club. spoke, up came Spooner, with a com- monplace compliment to the young woman and a look of sur- prise at Crabthorne, who also seemed perplexed. “Neither of you knew the other was to be here, eh?"’ asked Miss Moneypenny, smiling. “T thought you and I were to play,’’ remarked Spooner. “And I thought it was to be singles,’’ ventured Crabthorne. “‘Well, it’s to be three-handed,’’ said Miss Moneypenny. ‘‘I want to play against you both.’’ The young men looked at each other with just a shade of antagonism. “You see—I'm going to be candid, you know—you both have proposed marriage to me,’’ continued Miss Moneypenny. ‘‘I'm not handsome. I don’t question the honesty of either of you as to sentiment, and I’m bound to believe both of you love me, for both of you have told me so. Others have said the same. I suppose if I hadn’t a lot of money’’—— The Primitive Impulse 4 By J. A. WALDRON As Miss Moneypenny (pees “Oh, I. say, Miss Moneypenny!’" © broke in Spooner. ‘‘ You must know’’—— 4 “And I protest!’’ interrupted Crab- 4 ) thorne. ‘‘My sentiments are’’-—— =< z= eee aaa) “Yes, I know. I haven't connected ve —_ either of you with a sordid motive, have : 1? Haven't I said I was bound to be- lieve you both? Just the same, if I were a poor girl, even with a handsome face, I'd be working in some shop, or trained nursing, or something like that, and should never have had the pleasure of your acquaintance. Isn’t that so?” “But, you know’’—said Crabthorne, as Spooner was alco about to further protest. “Yes, yes! But I have my notions, just as any handsome girl might have notions. And you're going to put one of them to the test. This isn’t a day for duels to win a woman, but the law doesn’t bar tennis. I ask you two good fellows—I like you both equally just now—to play with me. I want to study you in the circumstances.’’ “And how will you decide which of us you will marry?’’ asked Spooner. “I didn’t say I'd decide to marry either of you, did 1?” “Then why the game?”’ asked Crabthorne, smiling, though comicbooks.com