Judge, 1914-08-01 · page 5 of 24
Judge — August 1, 1914 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains three separate pieces of humorous writing and one illustration. The main illustration, titled "Otherwise Dry," depicts a beach scene with well-dressed gentlemen observing shipwreck survivors. The caption suggests ironic contrast—the scene itself is tragic, but appears "otherwise dry" (humorously understatement). The three literary pieces below—"Somebody's Fate," "A Slant at Phyllis," and "Her Waterloo"—are satirical vignettes about domestic and social situations. They mock upper-class pretensions and gender dynamics of the era, with particular focus on women's fashion, marital tensions, and romantic complications. The humor relies on wordplay and exaggeration of period social anxieties rather than explicit political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Ever been in, captain?” Somebody's Fate «sBUT, mother” —— “But, Mabel, year after year I’ve Mountains and shore, moun- tains and shore, shore, mountains and mountains ! And you've let them all slip”’—— “The mountains, mother?"’ “No! the “‘And the tears and the fears’’ “Mabel! Your ingrati- tude! (Mother weeps gently ) Oh, oh! When I think of the catches you might have made !’’ Mabel straightens a coil of her tawny “hair and sighs; her svelte figure straight- ens, and a baby scowl mars her rather im- perious beauty. ‘They were ridiculous— generally — mere flirtations — that’s all they could be!"’ Mother’s voice rises to a jangling fal- setto, ‘‘Flirtations! That’s it! You've just flirted and dawdled—and now—you're twenty-nine!” “Sssh! Mother!"’ taken you. The years—and OTHERWISE DRY “Wunst.” “ When?” A short pause, while mother powders her nose and Mabel steps into a frilly frock. “I think we'd better go to the moun- tains this year, mother. They come for longer. It’s only week-ends at the shore. One can’t do much’’—— “‘Mountains! My income isn’t what it was. I can’t afford’’— “*And, pray, is the shore any cheaper?” “There are more opportunities—bath- ing every day—bathing—and the costumes this year are’’. “But, mother—(sadly) —awfully thin this year.’’ “So youare! There,don’tecry! I dare say the mountains will set you off bet- ter. Only, for goodness sake, don’t flirt! Watch! Andpray! And play yourcards! If you don’t--if you don’t, 1°1l’’—— “You watch and I'll play!’" “It’s desperate, Mabel! And he must have money. No more college boys!"" “*A solid business man!"’ “And never mind his lool:s. thousand a year is looks enough."’ “‘Mother!’’ “*Mabel !’” They embrace. I—I'm thin A few —Fred Ladd. “ Shipwrecked.” A Slant at Phyllis WHEN I take note of Phyllis’ hat, Tipped on one side, one eye dis- guising, I wonder why it is so flat, And at her aspect quite surprising. For though her skirt fits close below, With slits that aid her locomotion, It grows in volume, as you know, Above, such is the crazy notion. Her waist is undefined, and yet Full many contours she confesses— In fact, so many you forget Just how a tropic maiden dresses, And as again you her survey— To mark her well you are beholden— You wonder if some later day Will Phyllis further still embolden. —J. A. Waldron. Her Waterloo Mae—I was in a very embarrassing position this morning! Fae—What was it? Mae—I had to rescue a man from drown- ing when he was teaching me to swim! It is funny that the man who is always “loaded’’ seldom has any aim in life. comicbooks.com