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Judge, 1914-07-18 · page 12 of 24

Judge — July 18, 1914 — page 12: what you’re looking at

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Judge — July 18, 1914 — page 12: Judge, 1914-07-18

What you’re looking at

This page contains two separate pieces: **"The Genial Philosopher: On the Naming of Automobiles"** (left/main text): A dialogue satirizing the emerging automotive industry's practice of naming individual cars with elaborate, prestigious names rather than numbers or generic designations. The philosopher argues that named cars (referencing famous horses, yachts, and legendary figures) deserve personalized identities. The satire targets both the pretentiousness of early automobile owners who wanted their vehicles to seem dignified and cultured, and society's tendency to anthropomorphize consumer goods. **"Difficulties With Golf"** (bottom section): A separate satirical Q&A about golf's challenges. It humorously presents golfers' common problems—keeping eyes on the ball, maintaining direction, controlling distance—in pseudo-philosophical dialogue, mocking both the sport's frustrations and the verbose excuses players make. The illustration (upper right) shows what appears to be an early automobile or carriage, supporting the naming theme. Both pieces exemplify Judge's typical early-20th-century satirical style: gentle mockery of contemporary social habits and leisure pursuits.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

«| SEB," said the Ge 1 Philosopher, letting his newspaper drop into The Genial Philosopher nis tap, “that it iss y us in the old days they y fashionable for names to their Os the Naming of Automobiles or cars, j 1 to give ir child they had the thing. E f real merit should own, and you can never base individuality n of numbering our e9n- identity. In days at e that is a good ything ¢ be permitted to enjoy an individuality of i number. It is too much like our s nut it is destructiv do to be of personal nd I don't see why r viets in jail one by suj 3 should not t r \ and Maude S. and Le 1ampions who trotted, ran, paced and Then take that long list o Vigilance, t Defender, h to Uncle Sam's glory low and Iroquois an: all the rest of eeple- chased, to the enrich nlendid yachts—An umbia and t sportir al winne wr lovely craft that have added so mi on the seas. How much we should have lost if they had borne merely a license tag ad of those honored names! Y s a really useful pury I fancy we'd j with a set of nt it is a good thir -rals painted on it inste + in giving J maybe the ng if well ¢ ings quickly, if we were to see al further, and perhaps ring d of Attila and th wn I know of at least three cars that for n upon us ixty-mile clip, Juggernaut as rar ch th the recor fami In my old t us populs i blie might well be na in Barleycorn or B: r Nero, such nder t rfull tank. And think how pretty it would ] rm d teapots that simmer along gently on 1 . Robin Redbreast, Spar , that for sn t plain Thunderer. lency to skid, n nde or Aphrodite or And think of he areless in his play, rushing E re ght, old 4 said the Listener ut it would be some job H names—almo: ng names for a pair of twins ina | S10 all,”’ “Ont it would be easy. If a man has an at | “Well, come, 1 ‘s have a try [were | to give you a touring car t . with tanding that you were to name i | hand, or return it. What would 5 n ] Martini,"’ grinned the Genial Philosopher; ‘‘merely to show how wholly acceptable ] uch a thing would be at your har | And the Liste taking the hint, t di the bell. } | Difficulties With Golf H when to hit it **Why is its ball lands, T unconsciously club strikes the ball, the re nilure “Twill bet yall, What is th “The next most difficult thing is in yon the use in keeping my next most difficult thing in g setting direction. Most people strain for distance ut direction is more important and more difficult “What m “Hitting *You can bi xt most important difficulty to overcome in golf? ny bet ball too your life that I will not hit riving it te dan i nor drive the ball too far. Are Ities to contend w jon to 1 of strokes you have t of your club in th comicbooks.com