Judge, 1914-06-27 · page 11 of 25
Judge — June 27, 1914 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This story satirizes aging vaudeville performers and theatrical economics. Chris and Lena, once attractive dancers, have grown "fat an' clumsy" after ten years and now perform stale, dated comedy sketches that audiences hiss. Their manager cancels them, explaining bluntly that the public demands novelty, not nostalgia. The satire's point: when Lena spontaneously cries—genuinely emotional rather than performing—the manager recognizes commercial potential and reinstates them as "headliners." The irony is sharp: Lena's authentic tears succeed where her deliberate comedy failed. The story mocks both the entertainment industry's ruthless demand for constant innovation and performers' resistance to change. The manager's reference to other successful acts (like Fagand, "The Man with a Thousand Faces") reinforces that ingenuity—adapting to audience taste—determines survival in show business. Chris and Lena's "illness" excuse for missing their third show suggests they've learned their lesson.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ee YOU'RE punk! You're canceled !"" said the manager. Lena burst into tears. “Aw, quit yer eryin’ said Chris. Chris and Lena were in vaudeville. ty doa ‘They had been doing three a day in a | theater where the pictures were the | feature. On their morning turn they hadn't got a hand. They had just made their second appearance and been hissed. “*You may not be wise to it,’’ said the manager, ling in their dressing-room, ‘‘but while you don’t hear applause Je the walls, hissin’ some way gits all over town.”’ “But would you have said this to us twenty years age asked Chris, } “Naw, of course not,’’ replied the manager. ‘Twenty yea ago you two were among the people. You both were slender, good-lookin’, an’ you could dance to beat the band."’ **An’ you made a lot of money on us,”’ sobbed Lena. “But this ain’t no eleemosynary institution, an’ I guess you tumble to that,’’ replied the manager. ‘Who's to blame? W’en you two got too fat an’ clumsy to dance, you put on this bloomin’ sketch that was hissed just now, Been at it ten years, ain't you? An’ all there is to it isthe slang. W’y. you haven't even added the slang they’re now puttin’ in dictionaries, it’s so old. The public wants somethin’ new. Understand?"’ 11 “No tellin’ w’at the public wants, anyway,’’ remarked Chris. Ingenuity Wins “Well, it’s eas don’t want, ain't it? ger. Lena began blubbering again. ‘Aw, cut it!’’ said Chris, ‘Hold on!" suggested the manager. “We've been old friends. I gotta can- cel you on this bunk, but w’y not git an emotional sketch? If Lena e’n cry like that before an audience, I'll make you headliners.’’ “Quit yer kiddin’!"’ said Lena, and in a second she was ing. ‘I'ma comedienne. None of your tearful stuff for to see w'at they asked the mana- LDBON lau me “The profession is all W'at they c’n do “There you go!”’ said the manager. alike. They're four-flushin’ half the time. well, they never think 0’ doin’.’” “But some folks git across with next t’ nothin’, an’ you book ’em right along.”” “Wry not, ’s long ’s they git across? There's Fagand, ‘Th* Man with a Thousand Faces.’ All he does is t’ stand up an’ mug Th’ audience does the rest. But you'll not listen to reason. I've canceled you. An’ I'll never look at you till you git somethin’ that'll go.’” And the manager left Chris and Lena, who had to ‘‘cut’’ their third appearance that day, as they told their friends, be- cause of illness, They were replaced in the bill the next day comicbooks.com