Judge, 1914-06-20 · page 19 of 24
Judge — June 20, 1914 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page comprises two distinct sections: **college humor jokes** (left side) and **advertising** (right side). The "College Wits" section collects brief jokes from various university humor magazines (Penn State Froth, Princeton Tiger, Cornell Widow, etc.). These are mild puns and romantic misunderstandings typical of early 20th-century collegiate humor—plays on words about music, courtship hesitation, and social situations. The dominant content is a **Schlitz beer advertisement** warning brewers about protecting beer from light exposure. The ad uses fear-based messaging: it claims competitors deliberately expose beer to light, risking impurity, while Schlitz uses brown bottles to keep beer pure "from the brewery to your glass." This references the real chemistry of "skunky" beer caused by light exposure—Schlitz positions itself as the responsible, health-conscious choice. Below is a hotel advertisement for the Earlington in New York. The page reflects early advertising's use of pseudo-scientific purity claims and competitive accusations to market consumer products.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
—— Sar! Yt f = Ors Kaas ; yb) @ fd Ss With Te College Wits Discord—‘‘ Samantha, what's thet chune the orchestry’s a-playin’ now?”’ “The program says it’s Choppin’, Hiram.” —mebbe—but ter me it sounds a deal more like sawin’.’’— Penn State Froth. Coming to an Understanding — Herself (looking up at him)—Oh, Mr. Wrinkle, do you ‘‘hesitate'’? Himself—Never! (Kisses her.) Herself (in confusion)—Oh, I didn’t mean that! Himself — Well, what did you mean, then? Herself—Er—why—I mean—do—you— “panny hug’’?— Williams Purple Cow. Would Hel-- Jinks—Would you marry a girl as pretty as a picture? Binks—Yes, if she had a good frame.— Princeton Tiger. The law of the arm, and the arm of the law. —Dartmouth Jack 0’ Lantern. An Invitation?—Temptation—I like your cheek ! Fall Florit— All right, goes!—Cornell Widow. then; here Logical—Netty—Hear you have thrown Bob over. Betty—Yes; he was such a poor letter writer, I was ashamed to show his love letters to the girls.—Stanford Chaparral. In the Middle Class— Wifey—What is the social scale that the novels talk so much about? Hubby—That is where they weigh money.—Illinois Siren. At the Fancy Dress Ball—Pierrette— What was Mrs. T. Smith-Hulligan sup- posed to represent? Pierrot—Judging from that long, trail- ing, split skirt she had on, I should say an observation train.—Cornell Widow. Politeness—Chauffeur (under auto)—I beg your pardon, sir, but would you mind backing the car up a little? Owner —What’s the matter? Chauffeur—My face is caught in the works.—Pennsyivania Punch Bowl. Patience—‘‘It’s a long corridor that has no ultimate termination,’’ remarked the absentminded professor, as he paddled patiently around in a revolving door.— Minnesota Minnehaha. He knows that when he puts his beer in light glass bottles and placards the case—“ Keep this coveron to protect the beer from light” that he is deliber- ately throwing on you—the responsibility of keeping it pure. Why should you take the risk? Beer is saccharine. Theslightest taint of impurity ruinsitshealthfulness. Schlitz is made pure and the Brown Bottle keeps it pure from the brewery to your glass. See that Crown is branded “ Schlitz" Order a Case Today The Beer .. That Made Milwaukee Famous. HOTEL EARLINGTON 27th Street, West of Broadway, NEW YORK QA Step from Broadway. Quiet as a Village at Night. Q Absolutely Fireproof. Your Comfort Our Aim Always. SINGLE ROOMS, $1.00 Parlor, Bedroom and Bath, front of house, one person, $2.00; two people, $3.50; y pay more when our service is equalled only by the best? EUROPEAN PLAN E. W. WARFIELD, Manager comicbooks.com