Judge, 1914-06-06 · page 8 of 24
Judge — June 6, 1914 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page offers satirical commentary on marriage through multiple short pieces: **"Just Before the Wedding"** presents the anxieties of engaged couples and their parents—all wondering if the marriage will succeed. The humor lies in the universal pre-wedding jitters: mothers-in-law questioning domestic skills, financial concerns, and compatibility. The poem by Lida Keck Wiggins treats these worries as equally absurd regardless of which family member voices them. **"Evolution of the Bride's Bouquet"** (top illustration) humorously traces how a bride's bouquet transforms across four stages—from flowers to baby—mocking the assumption that marriage leads inevitably to motherhood. **"Suggested Gifts for June Brides"** parodies typical wedding gifts by offering sarcastically "practical" items: a "snore silencer," "rolling pin or family regulator," and "husband alarm"—all jokes about marital discord, wives' domestic roles, and husbands' misbehavior. The smaller jokes target fashion ("Hips are coming in again") and ocean travel etiquette. The final cartoon shows a wife's pointed silence about a new apartment, suggesting wives' dissatisfaction was an expected marital constant worth mocking.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Just Before the Wedding The bride: “T wonder if Tom’s mother will like me, Or if she will poke fun at all I do; I wonder if the nice things she will see About me that her son professes to! I wonder!"’ The bride's mother: “*I wonder if at home he'll nightly stay, And if he will continue to adore her; I wonder if she’ll manage him the way I have her dear old doting dad before her! I wonder!"’ The bridegroom: “T wonder if Jeanne's mother will turn out To be a ma-in-law to conjure fear; I wonder if she'll often be about, And if she'll always be so sweet and dear! I wonder!"" The bridegroom's mother: “I wonder if Tom's wife knows how to cook, And if she'll think I'm very queer and prim; I wonder how her house is going to look, And if she’s really good enough for him! I wonder!"' The fathers (in chorus) : “We wonder how much money it will take To keep them going for a year or two; We wonder if thoze kids will really make A fortune, as they’re planning now to do! We wonder!"’ —Lida Keck Wiggins. On an Ocean Liner Table steward—The man who will sit next to you is a bird doctor. Old sport—Good! Are any of his pa- tients traveling with him? In Hiding “Hips are coming in again.,” “Hurray! Now mother can come back from Europe." EVOLUTION OF THE BRIDE'S BOUQUET Suggested Gifts for June Brides Dictagraph for recording sleep mutter- ings of groom. Patent snore silencer and romance pre- server. Electric searchlight for use in pucket larceny. Steel-tipped rolling pin or family regu- lator. Box of chalk for line drawing. Fetters. Breath detector and fume analyzer. Patent leg puller or ever-ready coin provider. “Baseball-English and English-Base- ball Pronouncing Dictionary."’ Husband alarm with automatic time recorder. “One Thousand and One Examination Questions for Midnight Stragglers.’"" “Three Hundred and Sixty-five Meals a la Mother; or How To Feed the Animal Man."" “ Well, Henry, you haven't said how you like the new flat” comicbooks.com