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Judge, 1914-06-06 · page 11 of 24

Judge — June 6, 1914 — page 11: what you’re looking at

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Judge — June 6, 1914 — page 11: Judge, 1914-06-06

What you’re looking at

This story satirizes the early 20th-century eugenics craze—the pseudoscientific belief that human breeding should be controlled to "improve" the population. **The setup:** Theocritus Giddings, a wealthy man obsessed with eugenics, discovers he has minor physical imperfections (uneven ears, asymmetrical shoulders, hair loss) that disqualify him from parenthood by eugenic "standards." He vows celibacy. **The satire:** He falls for Salome Peckham, who is "eugenically ideal"—measured and deemed physically perfect. Meanwhile, Buddy Strong, a poor but physically flawless artist's model, appears to be the eugenic match. **The point:** The story mocks eugenics as absurdly rigid pseudoscience that conflicts with human emotion and love. Theocritus ultimately abandons his eugenic principles when actually confronted with romance, suggesting the ideology's impracticality and the irrationality of reducing human worth to physical measurements.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A ‘THEocrITUs GIDDINGS was ae tall, dark young man, with a million dol- lars and an interest in eugenics. His studies led him to a miserable knowledge. He found that he must never marry. He did not measure up to the eugenic standards for parenthood. By an exact survey, he discovered that the lobe of one ear was longer than the other. He saw with horror in a mirror that his right shoulder was a trifle higher than his left. He knew his hair was falling out. Hot tears scalded his cheeks as he pledged himself to celibacy. For a while he went about gazing wist- fully at beautiful women. But he felt only a vague and negative sadness until he met Salome Peckham. Then his pledge and the reasons for it became an acute and real sorrow. Salome Peckham was the eugenic-ideal maiden. She had the form of a bathing wood nymph, her hair was golden, her cheeks were crimson, and her toes were pink. She had been measured with the ral y ppuen iD yj "y PARTED ON HIS WEDDING DAY Perfect By HELEN A, SPAFFORD eugenic tape and answered all require- ments. With the knowledge Theocritus possessed about the body beautiful, he but looked on Salome, and he loved her madly. Salome had been taught that the good things of this world are for those who know how to get them. Her knowl- edge included an ability to classify The- ocritus, With the coy artistry of eugenic girl- hood, she at once exhibited a preference for Theocritus. He — poor, idealistic young man!—became at once a prey to conflicting sentiments upon Salome's on- slaught. When he most yearned to call the girl to his arms, he most remembered his defects and that he must not marry. Buddy Strong came on the scene. He was a poor young man who earned a scant living posing for artists, for he was fauit- less in form and features. When Buddy and Salome were together, the sad, rich young man saw with despair the glorious spectacle of their perfections in juxtaposition. Watching their well- Mate matched beauty, Theocritus would hurry from them to a lonely spot among the trees and moan in anguish, ‘‘I am not fit, Tam not fit!"" Salome was perplexed. Theocritus now observed her with the light of renuncia- tion in his eyes, and she did not want to be renounced by one so rich. She deter- mined to learn the secret of her lover's singular behavior. For this she used a simple method. She sent Theocritus to a dark corner of the piazza to find her handkerchief, and then she followed to find Theocritus. When the young man saw her looking for him in the darkest corners and call- ing softly, ‘‘Theocritus! Theocritus!’’ he murmured, ‘‘Oh, St. Anthony, here she is, and all be tempted beyond my strength! Salome found him, and they sat on a rustic seat together. Theocritus forgot the regulations of eugenics and abandoned some of his resolutions as he saw the girl's beautiful eyes appealing to him to love her. He infolded her in a close em- comicbooks.com