Judge, 1914-05-23 · page 10 of 24
Judge — May 23, 1914 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American satire: **"Shall We Dance This?"** parodies Hamlet's soliloquy, debating whether to dance modern dances (ragtime, tango, maxixe, Castle walk). The joke targets both the physical awkwardness of new dance crazes and social anxiety about participation versus wallflower status. **"The Wrong Quarter"** is a folk-humor piece where a Florida cracker misunderstands a notary's fee of "a quarter" (25 cents) as meaning a quarter-section of land, returning with a deed. It satirizes rural/frontier ignorance colliding with civilization. **"Hubby's Appeal"** features a husband pleading his wife not to take his jeans during a separation—the humor lies in prioritizing worn work clothes over finer garments. **"Drawing the Long Bow"** presents a brief tall-tale competition about exotic observations. **"The Hypothetical Question"** cartoon jokes about legal absurdity: a woman asks if she can sue for slander regardless of whether the defendant can prove the statement true. The overall tone is genteel, domestic humor reflecting leisure-class concerns and period anxieties about modern dance and marital squabbles.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
wamirneon, BROAOMEAD! Shall We Dance This ? JO DANCE or not to dance; that is the question: Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to gaze upon The swings and spirals of vivacious dancers, Or, girl in arms, to join the seething couples, And, by opposing, rend them? To glide —to dip— And more; and, by a dip, to say we bend The heartstrings and the thousand rusty joints And rigid muscles—'tis a contingency Devoutly to be missed, To glide—to slip— To slip; perchance to fall! Ay, then the rub; For on that slippery floor what falls may come When we are shuffling up and down the room Must give us paus But then there's that Which makes calamity of being a wall- flower: For who would bear the steps and turns in time, The ragtime song, the supple, graceful girls, The tango and maxi The hesitation’s rhythm, smiles Which active joy bestows on watcher, When he himself might do the self- same thing After a few lessons?—silis 0. Jones. », the Castle walk, plus the idle Circumstances Alter Cases “Let me have some money, dear; I want to take a little trip.” “Can't afford it."’ “Isn't that too provoking? I was thinking of visiting mamma to keep her from coming here."" “Why didn’t you say so at first?” Keeping It Dark “Isn't it very embarrassing? Mr. Skittles can hardly tell his wife from her sister who's come to stay with them. “Is he worrying?” “Oh, no! He'd just as soon remain in the dark The Wrong Quarter Before the railroads had penetrated south Florida, land was very cheap and F 1 from one to another for a mere song, as the saying is. At one time an old Florida cracker went before a notary to make an affidavit, and after the pa- per had been prepared asked what the fee was, “Oh, about a quarter,’ replied the no- tary indifferently. “My gracious! ain't that purty stee asked the cracker. jo; that’s the least charge. we get a half.’” The cracker went away, and the next day returned with a deed to a quarter section, He handed it to the notary, who read it over carefully “I meant twenty-five cents,’’ said he, passing the deed back to the cracker. Usually When it comes to raising the dough, no financier has anything on the baker. Hubby’s Appeal ROGESSIVE wife, I gauge what's in your mind. Listen to me! Don’t take the only duds you've left be- hind! I prithee, let "em be! Your foot'll be in’t les venes, e me my jeans! something inter- Whatever, wife, clothes, What from my chest, Wear ties, coats, collars and such things as those; Wear e’en my fancy vest But that’s enough. Let's have no further scenes, Spare me my jeans! thou swipest of my Dern Show Drawing the Long Bow Hokus—I1 once saw an Egyptian smok- ing an Egyptian cigs Pokus—I\'m a better liar than IT once saw a Turk taking a Tur! THE HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION Fair lady (to lawyer) —Can I sue her for slander whether she proves what she said I said she said or not ? comicbooks.com